I have a friend that I saw on a regular basis and we were good friends. He is an older gentleman --good looking-gorgeous eyes and refined and educated. He is always a gentleman. We would hang out once a month and we would spend a an afternoon of bliss together. I received an email from him asking me when could we meet for lunch and then go by his place for some private time. I told him I was out of town for my vanilla job--taking another class. I would email him when I returned.
About a week passes and I email him. I wrote that my trip was good and I am back. Please let me know what day would work the best for you. Two days passed and no response. No worries here--I am pretty patient and figured he would he email me when he had time. On the third day I received an email from him and this is what it said…
“Anna,
Glad you had a good trip. Things could be a lot better here. My wife found out about my "hobby" and as of Monday I am without a home and a family. I will be out of touch for quite some time. Weird! I am still in shock. My best to you and your family."
OMG--Of course I did not reply--Yet my heart went out to him and his family. I felt terrible. I know that we are adults and we make our own decisions and all our decisions have good or bad consequences but I felt horrible. Not everyone understands this adult world that we live in.
Then today I received a call from him. I had a missed call from him--so I blocked my number just in case it was the SO and called him back. I figured I would hang-up if it was her. It was him and he said he was on his way out of state to one of their summer homes and that she froze his assets. He has four children and he spent the last few days--visiting each one of them and told them what happened so that they could hear it from him first. I felt terrible. You never want to hurt your kids. I tried to find the right words to console him. I told him that time heals everything and unfortunately when something like this happens--the SO starts questioning herself as to what did she do wrong to make him venture outside of their marriage and that in time she will take him back. They have been married for over twenty-five years. Doubt that was the best advice. He said he still does not know how she found out. He said maybe his behavior was off and she picked up on it and perhaps hired someone to go through his hard drive. He never wrote his passwords down and she would not have known it. My heart goes out to him. He is a really nice guy.
I am sure there are statistics on this some place on what usually happens. What does a hobbyist do at this point? UG has many threads on how not to get caught but nothing on dealing with the after effect of getting caught. The girls usually have something in place but what does a guy do after this happens--we are way past the deny, deny, deny part?
About a week passes and I email him. I wrote that my trip was good and I am back. Please let me know what day would work the best for you. Two days passed and no response. No worries here--I am pretty patient and figured he would he email me when he had time. On the third day I received an email from him and this is what it said…
“Anna,
Glad you had a good trip. Things could be a lot better here. My wife found out about my "hobby" and as of Monday I am without a home and a family. I will be out of touch for quite some time. Weird! I am still in shock. My best to you and your family."
OMG--Of course I did not reply--Yet my heart went out to him and his family. I felt terrible. I know that we are adults and we make our own decisions and all our decisions have good or bad consequences but I felt horrible. Not everyone understands this adult world that we live in.
Then today I received a call from him. I had a missed call from him--so I blocked my number just in case it was the SO and called him back. I figured I would hang-up if it was her. It was him and he said he was on his way out of state to one of their summer homes and that she froze his assets. He has four children and he spent the last few days--visiting each one of them and told them what happened so that they could hear it from him first. I felt terrible. You never want to hurt your kids. I tried to find the right words to console him. I told him that time heals everything and unfortunately when something like this happens--the SO starts questioning herself as to what did she do wrong to make him venture outside of their marriage and that in time she will take him back. They have been married for over twenty-five years. Doubt that was the best advice. He said he still does not know how she found out. He said maybe his behavior was off and she picked up on it and perhaps hired someone to go through his hard drive. He never wrote his passwords down and she would not have known it. My heart goes out to him. He is a really nice guy.
I am sure there are statistics on this some place on what usually happens. What does a hobbyist do at this point? UG has many threads on how not to get caught but nothing on dealing with the after effect of getting caught. The girls usually have something in place but what does a guy do after this happens--we are way past the deny, deny, deny part?
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