XXX-static over Happy at E2 Spa 347 458-5918

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I admit, most men wouldn't write a review on Mother's Day. They might feel some sort of guilt or shame chronicling a sexual encounter on a day that should be spent honoring the women who birthed us, loved us, and inspired us.

But since I was raised in an orphanage that made the one in "Annie" look like Disneyland, I have no problem writing this review today. :p

As is my annual tradition, if I go see a Mets game and they win, I visit a spa afterwards to celebrate. So I hopped into the back of my stretch limousine, lit up a cigar, and popped open a bottle of champagne, shook it, and doused my driver and myself with it. A short drive down Roosevelt Ave, a left on College Point Blvd and then a right on Northern Blvd and we've arrived. My driver Alfonso and I chest-bumped, high-fived and then cartwheeled our way to the door of E2, which is located on the darkest, emptiest street on Northern Blvd (it's practically under the bridge).

A young man opened the door and looked at us quizzically since we were both drenched with champagne. Alfonso also had his giant Mr Met head on as well (which he had to check on the coat rack).

We were led to separate rooms. A moment later there's a knock on my door and this short, curvy, busty little bombshell comes in and says "I'M HAPPY!"! I reply " I'M ECSTATIC!!!!". <rimshot>

Happy had on a plaid mini skirt and high heels to show off her nice legs, a tight, sleeveless v-neck shirt which revealed her ample chest and a mask covering her face (BOOOOO!). But I could still tell that she was pretty. And if she wasn't I was just gonna grab a second mask to put it over the upper half of her face! <another rimshot>

She tells me to disrobe and brings me to the table shower to wash off the cigar stink and champagne. Happy has a fantastic body. No stretch marks, tattoos, gut, bullet wounds, piercings or branding marks. Thank you, Jesus!

She does a thorough job and it also playful and flirty while she cleans up those troublesome, hard to get at spots. Dries me off and we go back to the room. It's a nice room. The whole place is nice, actually. Brand new looking facility and this room was all the way in the back so there wasn't much foot traffic. Mirrors on all the walls and ceiling too. Happy asks for the house fee and tip. $50 for the house fee. I tipped Happy $150. She got Happier. I got more hopeful. I really couldn't wait to ravage this sexy little MILF.

She leaves the room and I get to work trimming my excess nostril hairs and applying Retinol cream to the wrinkles in my forehead and frown lines.

A minute later and she's back, giggling and smiling like a woman who just got handed $150. She asks me to lay on my stomach but I tell her I'd much rather lay on my back and look at her beautiful face. She smiles, takes off her mask and says "Okay honey".

Happy is pretty. Very pretty. The more I see of this woman the more excited I'm getting. I have her forgo any massage and she starts rubbing her breasts along my torso. Enough of that, please!

I position her and we go right into 69. She is immediately responsive. On top of that, no smell, looks good, and tastes like chicken. She is deep throating me (how did she get that condom on??? She's like David Copperfield - if only he was Chinese, was a woman and worked in the sex industry) and I am impressed with her talent!

I have her lay on her back and begin daty. I'm getting the sense that she is overacting which for a moment begins to turn me off. But then she takes both of my hands and brings them up to her breasts and squeezes my hands so I can squeeze her breasts harder. So I do. I'm not stupid. I can take a subtle hint like that.

Now she's spreading her legs even wider and pulling her pussy lips even further apart and pulsing her hips into my lips and tongue, saying "Yesyesyesthereyesnicedon'tstopyes..." until a tremor overtakes her body and she looks down at me and I see her eyes roll back into her head. Have evil spirits taken over her soul???? For a moment I considered that scenario, but then her legs clamped down on my ears like she had been practicing with Suzanne Sommer's Thigh Master for the past 30 years and held my head in a vise-like grip for about 15 seconds as she shook and uttered some incantation that may have awakened those who have passed from this mortal coil. Thank goodness my Navy Seal training prepared me for this headlock. Most men wouldn't survive it, let me tell you.

Having pleased this vixen it was time for ME. That's right. We all need a little ME TIME and now it was all about ME. I stood up and Happy got down on her knees and gave me a great, deep bj, all the while caressing my legs, ass, and tummy-tum as she looked up at me.

My apple watch showed 4:16 seconds when I stopped Happy and laid her down to commence intercourse! Her naked body looked amazing. Breasts drooping just a little to the side, legs wide open, and smile on her face like she was waiting for our future children to get off of the school bus for the first time!

I entered her slowly and kept a gentle pace for the first minute or two but soon it became a frenzy of hip shaking and gyrating that some would say looked like a violent version of the Lambada!

Apple watch showed 6:43 when I climaxed.

Happy could tell that I had finished but like Charlton Heston beating his chariot horses in Ben Hur, she "encouraged" (okay, manhandled) me to keep going!!! So I did! I could tell that her "FINISH LINE" was within reach so I went faster and harder untiiiiiiiiil... BOOMBANGPOWKRASHWOWEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... she came.

Apple watch showed 7:29 for Happy.

I collapsed onto the mattress and laid next to her. Both of us panting. Both sweating. Both pinky-swearing to NEVER forget this night.

From this point on it was just small talk. Where she's worked. What she likes to do on her day off. Who was the most dominating pitcher of the 70's (She said Jim Palmer, I said Seaver).

I declined the post coitus shower and got my clothing on while she left the room for a moment. Happy comes back and gives me a big kiss on my lips and looks into my eyes and says "You make me cum twice. Good man.".

Yes. Even though I grew up in an orphanage with no guidance, no parental figures to teach and inspire me I am a good man. Happy said it. So it must be true.

I'll be back to see Happy again. Next time she wants to talk about who the best Yankees DH was. I said Ron Bloomberg. She said it's Steve Balboni.
We shall see.

As I walk towards the lobby area my chauffeur Alfonso is waiting for me and holding his giant Mr. Met head on his lap. He is smiling.

We get into the limo and open the sun roof and all of the windows. He cranks "Kaomo-Lambada" from the stereo as we make our way back home and towards the city skyline...
 
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