This is a spinoff from this thread:
http://utopiaguide.com/forums/threads/where-is-the-provider-pov.48786/#post-1064542
and the exchange I had with puffin. It made me think of how to better illustrate some of the "divide" I mentioned in that post about the differences between men and women.
I was going to add:
A lot of times women will view commitment as the "consolation prize" for having to be emotionally available for her man all the time. For women, it's their way of recouping the "deficit" of an emotionally draining interaction they have invested their emotions, status, and sex into.
Lots of women eengage in casual sex on a regular basis without p4p...ask any playa. The problem is the playa is sensitive to the woman's emotionally vulnerable concerns while the average guy is not. To men it seems like women are just jockeying for commitment, but many are okay with a casual NSA situation, provided the man is sensitive to her while she is emotionally vulnerable and open.
Men mistakenly believe this means being emotionally sensitive all the time. It does not. If you're just present and nonjudgmental while she has that awkward sharing moment when she discusses how she wants a better status ___, a more safe___, or an exciting ____ you will be GOLDEN.
It's just most men can't refrain from rolling their eyes and sighing while their woman discusses these things. You don't have to feign excitement, just be accepting. Mr. Playa does, and that's why he gets lots of girls even without putting commitment on the table.
Most men (outside of playas) do NOT make it past this stage without disgust, judgment, and revulsion, leaving women compelled to lie and hide their true feelings and obtain commitment as a form of arbitrage, exchanging humiliation for an increase in status or financial stability or attention (the three points I mentioned earlier)
Imagine you're with your very attractive lover, you're naked, you've had a bit of ED and then out of nowhere she laughs at you, tells you you're small, kicks you in the groin leaves and then tells all of her hot friends how inadequate you are. That's how it feels for women when they get rejected after sharing such emotional topics...it's how they feel after they get dumped after a hookup most times too.
http://utopiaguide.com/forums/threads/where-is-the-provider-pov.48786/#post-1064542
and the exchange I had with puffin. It made me think of how to better illustrate some of the "divide" I mentioned in that post about the differences between men and women.
I was going to add:
A lot of times women will view commitment as the "consolation prize" for having to be emotionally available for her man all the time. For women, it's their way of recouping the "deficit" of an emotionally draining interaction they have invested their emotions, status, and sex into.
Lots of women eengage in casual sex on a regular basis without p4p...ask any playa. The problem is the playa is sensitive to the woman's emotionally vulnerable concerns while the average guy is not. To men it seems like women are just jockeying for commitment, but many are okay with a casual NSA situation, provided the man is sensitive to her while she is emotionally vulnerable and open.
Men mistakenly believe this means being emotionally sensitive all the time. It does not. If you're just present and nonjudgmental while she has that awkward sharing moment when she discusses how she wants a better status ___, a more safe___, or an exciting ____ you will be GOLDEN.
It's just most men can't refrain from rolling their eyes and sighing while their woman discusses these things. You don't have to feign excitement, just be accepting. Mr. Playa does, and that's why he gets lots of girls even without putting commitment on the table.
Most men (outside of playas) do NOT make it past this stage without disgust, judgment, and revulsion, leaving women compelled to lie and hide their true feelings and obtain commitment as a form of arbitrage, exchanging humiliation for an increase in status or financial stability or attention (the three points I mentioned earlier)
Imagine you're with your very attractive lover, you're naked, you've had a bit of ED and then out of nowhere she laughs at you, tells you you're small, kicks you in the groin leaves and then tells all of her hot friends how inadequate you are. That's how it feels for women when they get rejected after sharing such emotional topics...it's how they feel after they get dumped after a hookup most times too.