First visit to NYC in 2 years and I'm raring to go hadn't been laid in QUITE some time. I blew the motor on my “neck massager” and to say I'm sexually frustrated is an understatement.
So I go stay with my best friend Adriana in her tiny studio. VERY clean...she's a bit anal about cleanliness. Which is a good thing!
First appointment had me gushing all other the sheets. I admittedly made quite a mess!
She walks in and I look at her innocently and say “I'm sorry”. “OMG April what you doing?” (in her cute Brazilian accent) She then went about stripping the whole bed cursing in Portuguese.
Next client wants anal. I warn him I really only provide this when notified in advance. For what should seem obvious reasons.. (Not to mention the fact that I had not done it in years) And being he didn't give me fair warning...I couldn't properly been as clean as I would be with advance notice. Needless to say..shit happens (pun intended) So I go about stripping the whole bed.
Adriana comes in and I'm trying to hide the sheet. But she sees me trying not to laugh. Because I know her and what her reaction is going to be. She looks at it and say “I NEVER give my coolo now!” Again shes going on in portuguese. Again I'm laughing.
Next client comes in. I laid out a sheet on top of the new set of sheets like half way on the bed but to the end. He sits on the end of the sheet and takes of his clothes and proceeds to go take a shower. I look at the foot of the bed and there is a shit stamp right where he sat his naked ass. Now hes in the shower and I'm thinking HELL I don't want him to think I did it...so I quickly grab another sheet and throw the dirty one under the bed.
After the appointment Adriana walks in and see' the disgusted look on my face and follows my eyes to the sheet under the bed and sees the shit stain. I see the look on her face while her hands fly up to her face.... I cant help it. Now I'm laughing. She's says “you give your coolo again and doing shit in the bed?” I'm peeing my pants because shes got this thick brazilian accent and........well its funny when she gets mad or grossed out. I explain to her what happened. I mean it was like my sheet was his passport and his ass was the stamp LOL
Adriana freaks out and says “Puta I no doing zee laundry...you go clean zee shat sheets” “And NO tell your clients about me I NO want your clients for ME your clients doing shat in zee bed!”
Good thing she has an endless supply of sheets and towels. Come to think of it I wonder which hotel I stole them from!
So every weekend I got to sit in the laundry mat. Didn't even know how to use the dam machines!
I wonder what adventures THIS trip will hold!!!
So I go stay with my best friend Adriana in her tiny studio. VERY clean...she's a bit anal about cleanliness. Which is a good thing!
First appointment had me gushing all other the sheets. I admittedly made quite a mess!
She walks in and I look at her innocently and say “I'm sorry”. “OMG April what you doing?” (in her cute Brazilian accent) She then went about stripping the whole bed cursing in Portuguese.
Next client wants anal. I warn him I really only provide this when notified in advance. For what should seem obvious reasons.. (Not to mention the fact that I had not done it in years) And being he didn't give me fair warning...I couldn't properly been as clean as I would be with advance notice. Needless to say..shit happens (pun intended) So I go about stripping the whole bed.
Adriana comes in and I'm trying to hide the sheet. But she sees me trying not to laugh. Because I know her and what her reaction is going to be. She looks at it and say “I NEVER give my coolo now!” Again shes going on in portuguese. Again I'm laughing.
Next client comes in. I laid out a sheet on top of the new set of sheets like half way on the bed but to the end. He sits on the end of the sheet and takes of his clothes and proceeds to go take a shower. I look at the foot of the bed and there is a shit stamp right where he sat his naked ass. Now hes in the shower and I'm thinking HELL I don't want him to think I did it...so I quickly grab another sheet and throw the dirty one under the bed.
After the appointment Adriana walks in and see' the disgusted look on my face and follows my eyes to the sheet under the bed and sees the shit stain. I see the look on her face while her hands fly up to her face.... I cant help it. Now I'm laughing. She's says “you give your coolo again and doing shit in the bed?” I'm peeing my pants because shes got this thick brazilian accent and........well its funny when she gets mad or grossed out. I explain to her what happened. I mean it was like my sheet was his passport and his ass was the stamp LOL
Adriana freaks out and says “Puta I no doing zee laundry...you go clean zee shat sheets” “And NO tell your clients about me I NO want your clients for ME your clients doing shat in zee bed!”
Good thing she has an endless supply of sheets and towels. Come to think of it I wonder which hotel I stole them from!
So every weekend I got to sit in the laundry mat. Didn't even know how to use the dam machines!
I wonder what adventures THIS trip will hold!!!
