UG NEWSROOM: War Stories by UG Members

paulbunyon

paulbunyon

#61
#61
The great stories the other day by Traderdave and Ruff (posts #37 and #38) reminds me of a story that happened to me in the late 80s when I was going to college in the Philly area. One night me and a few friends went to a popular nightclub in Center City (forgot the name). Very happening place, mixed race crowd with a lot of pretty chicks. Several local celebs there including some Eagles players and Major League Umpire Eric Gregg (just died last year btw). So we're having a good time flirtng with some hotties. Now this is a time in my life when I was pretty shy and didn't have good game but I'm doing pretty well chatting up this hot blonde chick. I'm bullshitting her (I told her I played football for Penn State among other things) and I thought I was "in" with her. So its almost closing and I've been talking and drinking with her for almost an hour. I think she's definitely into me and I'm pretty sure she mentions something about going back to her place. Now I'm thinking that I'm definitely getting laid....Yes!!! My 21 year old hormones are racing. So we are getting ready to leave and I say goodbye to my jealous friends (high-fiving them behind the girls back). On the way out she says she has to stop in the ladies room. "Fine, no problem", I say. So I wait outside the restroom and 5 mins pass and she's not done. OK, no problem, chicks always take long in the bathroom right? But I'm horny as hell and want to get going.
So I'm still waiting all the while eyeballing the exit so I can see when she comes out. 10 mins pass, 15 mins pass, still no hot blonde. Now the place is starting to empty and I see my friends start to leave. I tell them whats going on and finally, after probally almost 20 mins of waiting I say "fuck it" and peek my head in the ladies room and the BITCH IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND!!! FUCK!!!!! WTF!!! I ask the one girl in there if she saw the cunt I was waiting for and she looks at me like I'm crazy. I peek my head in again and there is no other door or exit there where she could have gotten out. I was eagle-eyeing the exit the whole time and I swear I didn't see her leaving. The only thing I can think of is that there was a window in the restroom that she might have crawled out of. Again, WTF!!! (My friends are now busting my balls over this btw). Never saw this cunt again and to this day this fucking story still bothers the shit out of me 17 years later. What am I Quasimodo or something???
All I can say (as Gavy likes to say) is fucking women!!!!

Happy Holidays!
Paul"Never too proud to admit the truth" Bunyon
 
Gavvy Cravath

Gavvy Cravath

Moderator Emeritus
#62
#62
Could she have been fuckin' a guy in the stall? That's the only thing I could think of. Perhaps the window theory works. Wow, that sucks...the blonde ditched you for Eric Gregg.

Gavy
 
R

RuffToy

#64
#64
gavycrav said:
RuffToy, I love that story. Next time, whip out your cock and rest it on her thigh. The say "opps" and giggle about it like it's no big deal!

Gavy
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The place I hang is off limits for other women for me. Way too close, too many eyes, too many mouths. I could have had that little butterball in the backseat of my car. She'd be game, I know it in my gut.
 
paulbunyon

paulbunyon

#66
#66
gavycrav said:
Could she have been fuckin' a guy in the stall? That's the only thing I could think of. Perhaps the window theory works. Wow, that sucks...the blonde ditched you for Eric Gregg.

Gavy
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I looked in the ladies room and I checked under the stalls too. No chick. And I don't think she ditched me for fat Eris Gregg because he would have crushed her if he got on top.
 
R

RuffToy

#69
#69
Here's my theory of this stuff. I love women, plain and simple. Of course I have my preferences, but variety is why I play. I have slept with all types. From fugly to model, from rail thin to big and fat. From very tall to mini-me.

My motto: It's all about the ride.
 
Gavvy Cravath

Gavvy Cravath

Moderator Emeritus
#70
#70
Pizza geina is finished.

That being said, I went to the "Cactus Salon" on Long Island today. I had to get my sister a gift and figured that a gift certificate for $150 would be appropriate.

Anyway, the girl at the counter that helped me was a white chick in her mid-upper twenties. Not really my style, but when she turned around, she had a black girls ass. Holy cow, never saw such an ass on a white chick. She was kind of pretty, bobbed brown hair and blue eyes and that big ass of hers.

Well, I was playing it real cool, not talking to her as she helped me until right around the end of the transaction.

Me: "I must tell you something."
Her: "Ok..."
Me: "You are very attractive. I hope you don't mind me telling you that, I just needed too. Your hair is perfect, you are very pretty and I hope you don't mind me telling you that."
Her: {blushing, smiling, giggling} "Thank you..."
Me: "I wish I would have known you were working, I would have made myself look pretty..."
Her: "You look perfect..."

She then went to finalize the transaction. When she came back...

Me: "No engagement ring?"
Her: "No, not at all." {again, all giggles}
Me: "Good, there is my number, give me a call when you get the chance..."

I procede to walk out all cool, then one of her older coworkers calls out to me, "I don't have an engagement ring either...blah blah blah"

I laugh it off and walked out the door. We'll see if she calls...

Gavy
 
Gavvy Cravath

Gavvy Cravath

Moderator Emeritus
#74
#74
seeker6591 said:
what happened to the Ecudoran chicka gavy?

thought you were gonna hookup this weekend?
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Got a back-handed invite to a party at her house tonight...I called her roommate (who I know for years) to wish her a "Feliz Navidad" and got the invite to her "party". Kind of weighing the possibilities right now.

Gavy
 
Gavvy Cravath

Gavvy Cravath

Moderator Emeritus
#75
#75
seeker6591 said:
sounds like you are in like flint!

are you feeling better Gavy?

Merry Christmas!

Seeker
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Whoa, just got a text from my friend that reads:

im with three girlfriends
r u coming over

@ 8:57 PM

Guess I am in like Flynn, eh? Either that or they want to hit the scene and party with someone that will throw his money around...always the cynic.

Will let you know all about this tomorrow night. Got to go and trim the boys, if you know what I mean.

Gavy
 
Gavvy Cravath

Gavvy Cravath

Moderator Emeritus
#77
#77
seeker6591 said:
nice message ..i wish i had friends like that!

lolol.

have fun Gavy!
Click to expand...
That's the Ecuadoran chick I am referring to, Seeker. Get to see her tonight. Something tells me she is way too hot for the gavycrav, but I'll do my best.

Now :


OK, hopefully somebody reads this within an hour...

I am sure all the liquor stores are closed...I'll drive down Northern from Shea to Steinway, but I seriously doubt I'll find one open. I left a bottle of Johnny Walker Gold at my old man's house today. The only thing I have in the house unopened:

Pisco Capel
A bottle of Chianti 2002 (clasico reserva)
A bottle of red from Argentina 2002
A bottle of red from Hungry 2002 (Bull's Blood)

The Pisco is out because...it just is. I am leaning towards the chianti. Ideas?

Gavy
 
Gavvy Cravath

Gavvy Cravath

Moderator Emeritus
#79
#79
Will do, Seeker...

These early ights are generally killers. I have to be in the Bronx by noon tomorrow, then to LI by 1 PM. And I am going to a party with hot Latinas tonight. This looks like an ugly tomorrow.

But, you only live once and as bunyon ALWAYS says, "Strike while the iron is HOT!" Going down swinging tonight. I am kind of excited about this. I was sitting in front of the PC wondering if I should go to the party or an old man bar or Otro Rollo, but I got that text and my blood got going...

Out right now. Merry Christmas.

Gavy
 
Gavvy Cravath

Gavvy Cravath

Moderator Emeritus
#80
#80
I am so damn tired I don't know if posting right now about last night/this morning will do it justice. Here it goes...

I get to Astoria around 11:30 last night. I was met outside by this Latvian splif that used to work (still does?) at Otro Rollo. She doesn't recognize me; I make small talk before we are buzzed into the apartment.

My Ecuadoran hottie opens the door and she is wearing a tight blue spaghetti strap tank top, khaki mini skirt and brown boots. This girl is smoking hot. She made me walk in front of her because she didn't want my to see the "goods" on the way up. Oh well.

We get into the part and there are two other guys there...both Calvin Klein underwear model types. And me, the chubby older guy. I was pretty much scoping out the other chicks at the party because for sure I wouldn't be hooking up with my target.

There were 5 girls the 2 guys and me. The Latvian chick is not my scene at all. There was a very drunk Mexican girl, but she was kind of ugly. There was this tall glass of water...a Panamanian girl who was actually with one of the guys. Man, was she HOT. And then the two Ecui chicks. Well, one of the Ecui chicks was with the other guy, so I am the only guy there not paired up and my target is back on...the HOT Ecui that looks like the singer J*W*L.

Well, you know how it is, you walk into a place and everybody is loaded already. They are doing stuff in their drunken silliness and trying to get you to partake. You submit to it finally and feel like a schmuck for a bit. But, I finally caught up to them after a while.

Anyway, The night was going cool. The ugly Mexican chick was in my face...literally...for a long time. I couldn't shake her. And then I noticed her tits and said, "If I have to, I will..."

Well, I didn't have to. The HOT Ecui pulls me on the dance floor, is draped all over me. We are drinking, talking. Then she goes off and then she comes back. Well, around 3 AM, we are dancing and she starts making out with me. Enter the Latvian rag. She pulls her away. Cunt.

OK, a little while later, me and HOT Ecui start dancing again. Now this is where the night gets REALLY hazy. In the middle of dancing, she gets REAL upset and starts yelling at me. I swear, gentlemen, my hands were in a very respectful position (I think I would have remembered grabbing her ass). She goes off and sits down, real upset. Pouting, I walk over to her and try to see what I did and that Latvian cunt comes over and starts getting in MY face telling me that I have been bothering her all night and all sorts of crazy shit. I figure it was just the drunkeness that got HOT Ecui all pissed off...who knows? But at that moment, I fingered the Latvian to be some sort of dyke. I kind of sized up the ugly Mexican to be a lesbian, but now I fingered the Latvian bitch to be one as well.

Anyway...I wind up dancing and making out with the HOT Ecui again. Then I go off and talk to the other Ecui in the kitchen about life and what's up since I hadn't seen her in so long. Well, HOT Ecui comes in, accuses me of cheating on her...screams and yells at me that I "left" her. And then she went to bed. Fuck...

Anyway, it's 6 AM now and the Latvian chick calls up some guy. She is going to take a taxi to his house or some shit. We are the only two party goers still there, along with the hostess, the other Ecui. Her taxi comes and the Latvian cunt is telling me to leave with her. Now the hostess interpretted it as "she is inviting you to go out and drink more with her" meanwhile I think this cunt was kicking me the fuck out of a place that wasn't hers. I basically told her I wasn't going with her.

Anyway, I stumble out of the house at 6:30. I remember getting to my car and calling my ex girlfriend (August 2005 to May 2006 that some UG members have met). I ask her to come get me...

...the next thing I remember is waking up next to her at 9 o'clock in the morning. I was fully clothed and hammered. She was sleeping, so I let myslef out. Mind you, I haven't seen this chick since May. And she came through for me...cool chick.

I get home around 10 AM. Feed the dogs and cat, take a little nap and wake up around 11:30. I have to go to the Bronx, pick up my daughter and her aunt and then drive to Long Island. All this on a major red wine/beer hang over. Ugh. Not a great day.

I called the HOT Ecui around 8 o'clock to see if I did anything too offensive. She said "no", told me to stop by the house whenever I want. I don't know what the deal is here. I am going to pursue it, but she is a mental case...a very HOT mental case. Will I get it? Who knows?

The coolest part of the story was waking up next to my ex. I really miss that chick.

Gavy
 
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