So the wife springs the Bi-Curious thing on me... best way to find a third?

M

Midnight Cowboy

#1
#1
I always knew that my wife was curious but last night she let it be known that at some point she wants to try loose her bi-curious virginity. She mentioned to me that she's not in a hurry to do it since she wants the girl to have certain qualities. I would like to find a non-pro but she said that she would like to save some money and go to Vegas and do it legally at one of the ranches. Kind of a 50th birthday present for me. This would be about a year from now. This would be something to look forward to and plan but I know that she is probably open to the right situation sooner and more local.

I wouldn't mind heating up the deal and exposing her to other possibilites so I'm wondering if there are any clubs where we might find a bi-curious female to join in? I guess a swinger club would be the obvious but I'm not sure if she is ready for the non-private everybody watches deal. Although at this point I could be wrong. LOL, so I'm looking at all the possibilities.

Anyone have any info on hot clubs in Northern New Jersey or Manhattan, or swingers clubs or organizations that do off-premise hook-ups in jersey/NY area?

Has anyone placed ads to find a bi-girl. I think even screening the photos that would come in would be fun.


MC
 
C

canweparty

#2
#2
Midnight Cowboy said:
I always knew that my wife was curious but last night she let it be known that at some point she wants to try loose her bi-curious virginity. She mentioned to me that she's not in a hurry to do it since she wants the girl to have certain qualities. I would like to find a non-pro but she said that she would like to save some money and go to Vegas and do it legally at one of the ranches. Kind of a 50th birthday present for me. This would be about a year from now. This would be something to look forward to and plan but I know that she is probably open to the right situation sooner and more local.

I wouldn't mind heating up the deal and exposing her to other possibilites so I'm wondering if there are any clubs where we might find a bi-curious female to join in? I guess a swinger club would be the obvious but I'm not sure if she is ready for the non-private everybody watches deal. Although at this point I could be wrong. LOL, so I'm looking at all the possibilities.

Anyone have any info on hot clubs in Northern New Jersey or Manhattan, or swingers clubs or organizations that do off-premise hook-ups in jersey/NY area?

Has anyone placed ads to find a bi-girl. I think even screening the photos that would come in would be fun.


MC
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I don't know of any...I'd say sorry but fuck that. You are one lucky bastard sir. Good luck.
 
P

paperpusher

#3
#3
I worked for someone with the same dilema. It did not end well. In the beginning, he thought he was one lucky guy. In the beginning he lived out his fantasies. After awhile, he would come home to find his wife in bed with another women. Soon he was cut out altogether. Then the divorce.

I am not saying this will happen to you, just that their can be unanticipated byproducts of such adventures.
 
Q

qqq35

#4
#4
it can all be good, as lomg as she knows continues to want want as her life-partner. my wife had a bi affair about 25 yrs ago, before we were together. i found out about it in a real round-about way. she really did not want to discuss it. eventually we did. she explained that being the very sexual being that she is, it was a natural to try. it was limited to the other female performimg oral on her. nothing else happened. that was her lone experience. about 10 yrs ago she brought the topic up and i made her think it was her idea to bring a friend home. anyway, it was a 5 shot deal. she hasnt partaken in the activity for 10 yrs. i really had a great time.

memories - ahhhhh
 
R

RuffToy

#5
#5
Midnight Cowboy said:
I always knew that my wife was curious but last night she let it be known that at some point she wants to try loose her bi-curious virginity. She mentioned to me that she's not in a hurry to do it since she wants the girl to have certain qualities. I would like to find a non-pro but she said that she would like to save some money and go to Vegas and do it legally at one of the ranches....
Click to expand...
I know a couple in LV that specialize in just this sort of thing. Not sure how I can hook you up though.
 
M

Midnight Cowboy

#6
#6
Interesting stuff...

I've heard stories how the swinging lifestyle can wreak havoc on a relationship. I'm not really looking to jump into this full-force and not really looking to swap with another couple at this point. It's more about adding a bi-female for her. She has actually mentioned it would be ok for me to join in as long as it is with her there, but I do have my reservations about her actually following through with that.

I don't foresee her leaving me for another women. I could see not being able to handle me with another women though. This is all new ground and my moves and actions must be handled carefully.

I did some searches on the net and do see some swing clubs that meet in a local hotel bar with no pressure situation. Might check that out and see how that goes.

As far as vegas, I appreciate the thought of the hookup but I think my wife is liking the comfort and security of going to a pro who knows what she is doing and is health checked. etc. Although the only exposure I've had with the L.V ranch situation is on HBO and I remember a couple being quoted something like $1500 for a session. Yikes! Still if it does come down to that then Change jar here I come.

I'll keep ya all posted. Thanks for the feedback.

MC
 
M

Monk

#7
#7
If she's willing to go with a pro, there's no need to go to Vegas. There are tons of bi independent providers in New York, or that visit New York regularly, that would be willing to oblige (and it shouldn't cost you $1500). If you're in the Hobby, simply ask around. If not, a lot of Independent providers will list on their ads or Web sites whether or not they offer services to couples. Then, as always, check out their reviews. You could also post a note seeking a bi provider on the *** New York discussion board -- there are (unfortunately) a lot more providers that participate in that board than here. You can set up your account over there so that they can email you privately. If you go this route, please be kind enough to mention that someone from Utopia Guide suggested you post over there.
 
W

Waru

#9
#9
Midnight Cowboy said:
I've heard stories how the swinging lifestyle can wreak havoc on a relationship. I'm not really looking to jump into this full-force and not really looking to swap with another couple at this point. It's more about adding a bi-female for her. She has actually mentioned it would be ok for me to join in as long as it is with her there, but I do have my reservations about her actually following through with that..........

MC
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Adding a bi-female is not engaging in a swinging life style, as you already realize. The absolute best, most rewarding relationship I've ever had was with a bisexual. She was not looking to get from a woman what she could get from a man. Most toys (strap-ons etc.) were taboo. She always laughingly said:"Why put in a piece of plastic if I can have a pulsating, throbbing live cock".
She was after that emotional/physical connectedness with another person, that by many men is often relegated to secondary importance. She always claimed that being held and caressed by a woman felt distinctly different than from a man. Enjoy and good luck.
 
D

DeepRevolver

#10
#10
I think that as long as you set some guidelines with regard to what she is willing and not willing to do, then there's no reason why this can't be enjoyable for the both of you. I think it's great that your woman is still willing to experiment and satisfy her sexual curiosity and quite possibly add a new and fulfilling long-term dimension to your sex lives. I would say a good start is post an ad on CL or backpage with info about what you are looking for. Then you can go through responses and hopefully discard those that sound selfish or ignorant. Of course she will probably have the final say as to who she will want as her first. And obviously there is no pressure to hook up on the first date. You want to feel out the chemistry and such. As an alternative you might try a membership with an adult dating service such as Adult Friend finder or another online service. I don't think there is one best way to find her an ideal partner. I say explore all your avenues until you and she both find someone she will be comfortable with. Even if the search takes longer than anticipated, I think the experience will be that much more rewarding if you invest the time and energy.
-DR
 
Slinky Bender

Slinky Bender

The All Powerful Moderator
#11
#11
The "single bi girl swinger" is the Easter Bunny of the swinging scene. Everybody wants one, but in general they don't exist. And if you do find one, they are VERY selective about who they go with because they can be. Your best bet might be to go to some of the "off premises" swingers parties which allow single females but not single males and see if you can strike up a conversation with one or two.
 
M

Midnight Cowboy

#12
#12
all good replies and information. Obviously, you guys know that this is not going to be easy. It's going to be a slow process. I'm still feeling out my wife's expectations before I start moving on this. Both the off-premises, CL and dating site are all options to consider. I would like to find a non-pro but the reality is that my wife's expectations might not be meet in terms of physical attraction with a non-pro since while we are not unattractive people, we are not 26 year old ken and barbie. For the scale of women my wife is fantasizing about we might have to go pro. I could be wrong though.

I'll post when I have something interesting to share. It's the start of a learning process for both of us.

P.S. Love this site. Appreciate it for sure.

MC
 
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B

betty_snj

#13
#13
Midnight Cowboy said:
all good replies and information. Obviously, you guys know that this is not going to be easy. It's going to be a slow process. I'm still feeling out my wife's expectations before I start moving on this. Both the off-premises, CL and dating site are all options to consider. I would like to find a non-pro but the reality is that my wife's expectations might not be meet in terms of physical attraction with a non-pro since while we are not unattractive people, we are not 26 year old ken and barbie. For the scale of women my wife is fantasizing about we might have to go pro. I could be wrong though.

I'll post when I have something interesting to share. It's the start of a learning process for both of us.

P.S. Love this site. Appreciate it for sure.

MC
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Not sure where you live...but if you want a good swingers site, mail me. Most members are european couples visiting NYC and looking for other couples.

Open minded and fun...there are plenty of swingers parties these people host when they are here and even if you go as a couple, not necessary you need to do a full swap. You wife can play a bit with the women, even if is just touching and kissing.

Most couples on this site are mid to upper class, interesting people, well traveled and cultured.

We were invited to this Swedish couple party at their Park Avenue penthouse that was just like a scene from a European movie :)

Another time, we met this Showtime popular series actor and his girlfriend (nutty but fun people) and we hanged out all night at his Tribeca loft.

And then, we were invited to this guy beautiful place in Franklin Lakes...he flew a few asian models (models not ho's) for the weekend and invited a bunch of people to his party.

One thing thought...if they find out a girl is a pro, the couple is out. They are very strict about the couples being real couples.

Slinky is 100000% right...the single attractive and very sexual swinger female is sought like a prize. Very hard to find!

xoxoxo

Betty
 
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Slinky Bender

Slinky Bender

The All Powerful Moderator
#14
#14
there is a girls who used to be a straight up provider who now has changed her MO to doing "fitness model" pseudo dom sessions. Even though it's not longer on her menu, i know her and you might be able to convince her. My guess is that the descrip[tion is narrow enough that you should be able to find her (or wait til teh next UG party).
 
B

bdsmlover

#15
#15
Slinky Bender said:
there is a girls who used to be a straight up provider who now has changed her MO to doing "fitness model" pseudo dom sessions. Even though it's not longer on her menu, i know her and you might be able to convince her. My guess is that the descrip[tion is narrow enough that you should be able to find her (or wait til teh next UG party).
Click to expand...
sorry to veer slightly off-track
Hey Slinky
I noticed her on another board(a fetish one) and WOW!, she's gorgeous, but the rates are out of line for fetish sessions unless there's some extra's (which she claims on her site not to do)- Any suggestions on how to approach her, without insulting her new career path, for some of the ..... along with the fetish?

tia
 
B

bdsmlover

#16
#16
betty_snj said:
Most couples on this site are mid to upper class, interesting people, well traveled and cultured.
Click to expand...
Hi Betty
is it safe to assume then that for those of us who may not be the buffest nor the wealthiest with model looks, that we would not be invited in to these types of soirees?

Thanks
 
N

NewComplex

#18
#18
Man... I'm actually in a similar situation myself. Bi-curious gf.. me perfectly willing, but at the same time painfully aware of the odds of success.

We've tried AFF and CL... no bites so far. I'm hesitant to suggest a pro for this because I've never actually told my gf I used to dabble in p4p stuff, and would rather not if possible. We are also not exactly supermodels ourselves, so I doubt just going out and winging it at a bar or club would be any more successful.

I really want this to happen, but don't know what to do. Should I just bite the bullet, tell her about the p4p scene, and hope she's down for going to a pro? Or is there something else I should try?
 
B

boneengineer

#19
#19
After many years in the swinging world perhaps i can offer up some advise to you guys with the Bi Curious women..... The least i can do in return for providing some info to me on here for the times i have lurked, hopefully soon i will be in a position to start back up in the hobby and set up some reviews....

Our experience ( my FWB swing partner and I ) with AFF and CL have been spotty at best. We found our best success on swinglifestyle site, although it is directed towards cpls playing, there are plenty of people on there looking for FMF threesomes and occasional Unicorns ( Single Bi female). It will take a good deal of work and sifting thru the nonsense but we have had many amazing adventures in the lifestyle and no doubt will have many more.

Anyone interested in borrowing my woman feel free to reach out LMAO......... I like to see her work her magic on the pussy!
 
N

NewComplex

#20
#20
Alright, so say I think a pro is the way to go on this. What's an easy way to break it to my gf that I used to dabble in this lifestyle without sounding too skeevy?
 
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