A little T.M.I. but you asked [
But, I do have a question. How many guys would swing if they actually could, knew how to start out, had a willing partner, etc.? For whatever reason you could, would you? And then of course what the hell stops you?
...
I did, and would again under the right circumstances.
I use to help run one of the largest swingers support organizations in the U.S. It was called Adult Links. Sites all over the U.S., some in Western Europe and a few in Australia. Private parties with cool people, pre-screened for their relaxed and easy going personalities. A real low-key business with few head trips.
I stopped for a few reasons. Not in any particular order...
1) I lost my favorite play partner. We enjoyed it so much 'together' that it just wasn't as much fun with anyone else. I mean, we were a ravenous duo and just devoured people, but always coming at it from a very laid back attitude. Our chemistry was just so keen when we played together that it just wasn't as much fun without her.
2) I managed to get involved in a major auto accident which slowed me down some, and did nothing for my waist line after being shot up with so many steroids trying to patch me up that I lost the use of Little Thorn for awhile [and MAN did that piss me off]. Thank what ever maker that rectified itself.
3) There had been a major influx into the swinger community of people into heavy S&M and particularly into Adult Links. Now, I have some Dominant tendencies, but my thing is to give pleasure. IOW, if I am spanking some Lovely Lass it is because it is getting her off and my pleasure is the feedback I am getting as I play with her and push her buttons. The spanking itself isn't what is doing it for me. It is the legit begging and pleading for more, while I think of new ways to give her what she wants. I can do a little nipple twisting, etc, under the same thinking... its making her wet, it's making her want more, its firing my imagination to come up with notions to drive her further along. I mean, I love nothing better than a lady curled around me who is a quivering mass of orgasmic goo, in a mood to thank my profusely for having provided her with what she needed to cause her to be that way. The truly hardcore thing though just keeps me from enjoying it, even if she is getting off big time on it. I just can't cane someone until the welts start to bleed. It ain't in me, even if she is screaming, "Thank you, Sir. May I have another.", in orgasmic bliss. Seeing more and more of this going on around me was a bit of a turn off. When I went to one of our parties and the high-light of the evening was a show of some gent experiencing expert CBT and than being suspended from a ceiling beam by steel pins placed under his pectoral muscles I called it a night and didn't go back. [sidenote: It is nice to see the current swing scene going back to the way it was, and those who truly like the hardcore S&M biz running parties of their own to do what they do, which I certainly don't begrudge them]
4) I fell in love with someone who wasn't into swinging. Oh, she tried for me but I knew it wasn't her at all. It made her incredibly uncomfortable. She said she would try to go on with it but why would I push her to do something she obviously didn't truly enjoy. As soon as I knew she got no kick out of it, which was in very short order, I suggested we stop and she was glad I did.
Neat trick of the light happened a little after that... I thought I had been there, done that, and was so over it and could settle down to a life long emotional and physical commitment. Jokes on me. Emotionally I am very much committed to my wife. Couldn't live without her. Can't complain either. Up until menopause hit the sex was great, and I have every reason to believe it will be again when she gets past her hot flashes, etc, and she is the best life partner I have ever had. Still, I guess I was so use to having a variety of female sexual partners that after awhile the old urges came back.
I couldn't go back into swinging. Older guys, particularly without willing female [attractive enough to make up for their male counterpart's short comings] partners, don't fair well in that community. I still get an invite to a party now and than, but its like some couple I helped introduce to swinging a decade ago is inviting the poor, old, fart who use it be "it" when he was younger and was part of a 'team' along for the ride. Thank you, but no.
So, now I find myself paying to experience some of the variety I use to have from swinging. Not the same kind of fun, I must admit, but very good with the right provider [and I try to be choosy... quality of quantity]. It allows me to do what I need to satisfy my appetites, but doesn't threaten the emotional stability of my relationship with my wife. I'm not the type to fall in love with someone I am paying for sex. The money itself provides the needed barrier to prevent that. Its business. Very friendly business, I hope, but business just the same. I am not sure that having really great sex with an attractive female that also stimulated me mentally would be as safe, even with my will in top form, if not for the that very effective barrier.
And now that you have a headache from reading this idiotic drivel, I remind you that you asked for it.
