There has been some time that I've been sleeping with sex workers. I pay for the higher end girls who are priced $120 to $200.00 and up for the night/day.
Let me stress that I am not the stereo typical john. I'm a very attractive young man, gainfully employed fit if not athletic / muscular, college educated and a great people person.
I've had girlfriends before, I'm a major flirt and can strike up a conversation with almost any one. I might have a major sexual addiction and miraculously I am healthy and STD free.
I don't know where to start with this post. I guess I'm writing it here on CL because I want to know if there are other men like me and if they feel the same way.
I have a lot of female friends, some of them do come on to me in some manner or another ( example light touching of my arms, butt or casually "pressing themselves against me", some of you guys know what I mean). And in some cases I bite and end up sleeping with them, but in many cases I don't because of the complex nature of our friendship and to be frank, the lady friends life style might become an issue if I were to be involved with them in some manner or another. I'm not a commitment phobe, in fact I'm quite the opposite, I enjoy being affectionate and passionate person.
My experience with civilian women have been at best... tumultuous.
I tend to encounter women who either lead dramatic life styles, who are extreme opportunist, some have been self destructive and other just plain and simply bad people. Again to the female readers out there, I'm not saying this of all women, just the ones I've encountered, plus lately a lot of my female friends want to cheat on their boyfriends with me, simply because they either want to get away from them, but need them in some fashion (usually money) or just honestly don't care for them. A lot of these ladies aren't even the Jerry Springer type, they're young, attractive, educated women. Some are empty and others are just plain well... deutchey!
Lastly a lot of these ladies are just simpley complicated people, they find fault in something in someone. Be it the guy is broke or under employed or he works way too much and has no time for them.
This is why I pay for sex.
I don't want to hook up with any drama queens, I don't want to be you're other man, and granted I am essentially paying for companionship, it's for a short period, agreed upon time and place, and if we hit it off well and know what we want in each other it usually turns out to be a win win situation. Also I am not a complicated man, I'm not in to tassles or whips and chains or freaky stuff at all, the most weirdest thing I would say I've done with a prostitute is anal sex. Other wise I would sleep with them ideally how I would of like to sleep with a civilian woman minus the baggage and head aches. Some of these ladies (well most of them I've spoken to) can be real down to earth and I've had some great conversations with them. Don't get me wrong I can do that with civilian woman too, except a major problem has grown from my sexual exploits with sex workers....
They're really damn good at having sex, and are extremely reciprocal.
One major thing I love about civilian women is you can be emotional with them ( suffice they're not nut jobs). You can honestly make love with one and not treat them as a business proposal. And odds are they have the same feelings for you. With a sex worker granted they can LIKE you for being you. They will never love you, but at the same time they are also the most honest with you( any dude who falls for professional is delusional, and doesn't understand that, much like entertainers are in the business of providing a fantasy). Plus let's be frank here you're more likely to have unprotected sex with with a CGF (civilian girl friend) then you are with a SW. In theory the higher price the woman, the more protected you are from stds ( how ever who are we kidding here?).
My gripe with civilian women in the sexual department is very lacking, CW's can be extremely attractive, well pampered and clean and can be the most spectacular girl in the world personality wise. Yet when it comes to the sack... laying there and taking it is not considered sex. That's just someone having intercourse with some else who isn't really involved, lazy or just plain and simply doesn't know how to have sex other then being on her back.Or worst she can be a sexual nazi and not do certain things that turn me on ( like for example oral sex), or know how to move her body properly (yes even women need to learn how to move their hips and gyrate as well). And I'm sorry if this makes me sound like a pig, but if I can take directions on what turns you on and I am willing to play ball for it, why can't you?
The issue of time:
I am a very busy guy, I don't get out of work at a certain times I'm supposed to, then my free time is spent doing freelance work on the side or just making sure my bills and things I need at home are up to snuff. I would love to find a CW who is understanding enough about this situation and not use it against me, or use it as a reason to cheat on me either. I'm not a pot head gamer, and or a layabout either. I'm pretty stable guy. I would love to find someone like that, I don't see that in my near future. a SW won't give me grief for being a productive male (especially in these tough times). I can set up an appointment and go on my marry ways to relieve my daily stresses in life. Plus I've known too many hard working responsible guys who go home to ladies who simply don't appreciate them at all. At times I don't blame them for being cheaters either (there are exceptions).
Money:
Look I would be the first guy to say that I enjoy taking my friends to bars, movies and dinner. The good thing about my friends is I know they would appreciate the gesture and would do the same for me if and when I am invited to a social function with them. In addition we have each others backs when one of us is low on the funds.
When it comes to dating that's a whole different ball game.
Excuse me for saying this, but honestly on average it's a lot more expensive having a CW girl friend then it is sleeping with a SW. You are spending maybe a couple of hundred bucks once a month (unless you're a high roller freak). With a CW it's a lot more expensive if you include dinner, movies and even going to clubs and events she likes and you spend most of the money. These things aren't cheap and in nyc they're a whole lot more expensive. Unless you find a CW who goes dutch with you or really enjoys it when you cook for them ( I know a girl who told me she wouldn't bother dating a guy if he cooked, because she wanted to be wined and dined) then forget it. Dating becomes a major income investment. You are being bleed of your money for a prolonged period of time, and in many cases all in vain. There are some guys that actually do take SW to dinner. Frankly I don't see the point of me doing that for someone I have only sexual intentions for.
Intimacy:
This is tricky, you see with SW you have to be very careful with how you have sex with them. You have to wear a condom, aside from health reasons you don't want to impregnate her either.
Plus kissing becomes an issue because both parties don't know each others sexual history. There are ways around having an intense sexual experience ( and in some cases even passionate ones) but you really can't be that close with a SW. That's an edge a CW has in spades over an SW. Plus with an SW the amount of time you spend with them cost you money ( unless they really like you then, they'll discount the over time and probably put you under "personal time"). My only issue with intimacy with CW is that it can be used to manipulate you ( and vice versa to the decent ladies out there that end up with dogs)
I don't know if there are guys who think and feel this way, I just wanted to explain why I do this. Hopefully a CW can at least see how I interpret things if she can't understand my feelings, but can understand my rational.
I am very aware that I have major women issues and probably have major intimacy issues as well. In short I do this because they are convenient, I know where I stand, there are no illusions to what I am doing, no games and doggy tricks to seek approval. My world like it or not is hallow, it's hallow because I fear being hurt used or even being bored of the CW woman. At the same time I dream of being in a healthy relationship with a CW, but the realty in my world begs to differ. I hope this is illuminating, and at least I have something to look back at in regards to my sexual history.
Let me stress that I am not the stereo typical john. I'm a very attractive young man, gainfully employed fit if not athletic / muscular, college educated and a great people person.
I've had girlfriends before, I'm a major flirt and can strike up a conversation with almost any one. I might have a major sexual addiction and miraculously I am healthy and STD free.
I don't know where to start with this post. I guess I'm writing it here on CL because I want to know if there are other men like me and if they feel the same way.
I have a lot of female friends, some of them do come on to me in some manner or another ( example light touching of my arms, butt or casually "pressing themselves against me", some of you guys know what I mean). And in some cases I bite and end up sleeping with them, but in many cases I don't because of the complex nature of our friendship and to be frank, the lady friends life style might become an issue if I were to be involved with them in some manner or another. I'm not a commitment phobe, in fact I'm quite the opposite, I enjoy being affectionate and passionate person.
My experience with civilian women have been at best... tumultuous.
I tend to encounter women who either lead dramatic life styles, who are extreme opportunist, some have been self destructive and other just plain and simply bad people. Again to the female readers out there, I'm not saying this of all women, just the ones I've encountered, plus lately a lot of my female friends want to cheat on their boyfriends with me, simply because they either want to get away from them, but need them in some fashion (usually money) or just honestly don't care for them. A lot of these ladies aren't even the Jerry Springer type, they're young, attractive, educated women. Some are empty and others are just plain well... deutchey!
Lastly a lot of these ladies are just simpley complicated people, they find fault in something in someone. Be it the guy is broke or under employed or he works way too much and has no time for them.
This is why I pay for sex.
I don't want to hook up with any drama queens, I don't want to be you're other man, and granted I am essentially paying for companionship, it's for a short period, agreed upon time and place, and if we hit it off well and know what we want in each other it usually turns out to be a win win situation. Also I am not a complicated man, I'm not in to tassles or whips and chains or freaky stuff at all, the most weirdest thing I would say I've done with a prostitute is anal sex. Other wise I would sleep with them ideally how I would of like to sleep with a civilian woman minus the baggage and head aches. Some of these ladies (well most of them I've spoken to) can be real down to earth and I've had some great conversations with them. Don't get me wrong I can do that with civilian woman too, except a major problem has grown from my sexual exploits with sex workers....
They're really damn good at having sex, and are extremely reciprocal.
One major thing I love about civilian women is you can be emotional with them ( suffice they're not nut jobs). You can honestly make love with one and not treat them as a business proposal. And odds are they have the same feelings for you. With a sex worker granted they can LIKE you for being you. They will never love you, but at the same time they are also the most honest with you( any dude who falls for professional is delusional, and doesn't understand that, much like entertainers are in the business of providing a fantasy). Plus let's be frank here you're more likely to have unprotected sex with with a CGF (civilian girl friend) then you are with a SW. In theory the higher price the woman, the more protected you are from stds ( how ever who are we kidding here?).
My gripe with civilian women in the sexual department is very lacking, CW's can be extremely attractive, well pampered and clean and can be the most spectacular girl in the world personality wise. Yet when it comes to the sack... laying there and taking it is not considered sex. That's just someone having intercourse with some else who isn't really involved, lazy or just plain and simply doesn't know how to have sex other then being on her back.Or worst she can be a sexual nazi and not do certain things that turn me on ( like for example oral sex), or know how to move her body properly (yes even women need to learn how to move their hips and gyrate as well). And I'm sorry if this makes me sound like a pig, but if I can take directions on what turns you on and I am willing to play ball for it, why can't you?
The issue of time:
I am a very busy guy, I don't get out of work at a certain times I'm supposed to, then my free time is spent doing freelance work on the side or just making sure my bills and things I need at home are up to snuff. I would love to find a CW who is understanding enough about this situation and not use it against me, or use it as a reason to cheat on me either. I'm not a pot head gamer, and or a layabout either. I'm pretty stable guy. I would love to find someone like that, I don't see that in my near future. a SW won't give me grief for being a productive male (especially in these tough times). I can set up an appointment and go on my marry ways to relieve my daily stresses in life. Plus I've known too many hard working responsible guys who go home to ladies who simply don't appreciate them at all. At times I don't blame them for being cheaters either (there are exceptions).
Money:
Look I would be the first guy to say that I enjoy taking my friends to bars, movies and dinner. The good thing about my friends is I know they would appreciate the gesture and would do the same for me if and when I am invited to a social function with them. In addition we have each others backs when one of us is low on the funds.
When it comes to dating that's a whole different ball game.
Excuse me for saying this, but honestly on average it's a lot more expensive having a CW girl friend then it is sleeping with a SW. You are spending maybe a couple of hundred bucks once a month (unless you're a high roller freak). With a CW it's a lot more expensive if you include dinner, movies and even going to clubs and events she likes and you spend most of the money. These things aren't cheap and in nyc they're a whole lot more expensive. Unless you find a CW who goes dutch with you or really enjoys it when you cook for them ( I know a girl who told me she wouldn't bother dating a guy if he cooked, because she wanted to be wined and dined) then forget it. Dating becomes a major income investment. You are being bleed of your money for a prolonged period of time, and in many cases all in vain. There are some guys that actually do take SW to dinner. Frankly I don't see the point of me doing that for someone I have only sexual intentions for.
Intimacy:
This is tricky, you see with SW you have to be very careful with how you have sex with them. You have to wear a condom, aside from health reasons you don't want to impregnate her either.
Plus kissing becomes an issue because both parties don't know each others sexual history. There are ways around having an intense sexual experience ( and in some cases even passionate ones) but you really can't be that close with a SW. That's an edge a CW has in spades over an SW. Plus with an SW the amount of time you spend with them cost you money ( unless they really like you then, they'll discount the over time and probably put you under "personal time"). My only issue with intimacy with CW is that it can be used to manipulate you ( and vice versa to the decent ladies out there that end up with dogs)
I don't know if there are guys who think and feel this way, I just wanted to explain why I do this. Hopefully a CW can at least see how I interpret things if she can't understand my feelings, but can understand my rational.
I am very aware that I have major women issues and probably have major intimacy issues as well. In short I do this because they are convenient, I know where I stand, there are no illusions to what I am doing, no games and doggy tricks to seek approval. My world like it or not is hallow, it's hallow because I fear being hurt used or even being bored of the CW woman. At the same time I dream of being in a healthy relationship with a CW, but the realty in my world begs to differ. I hope this is illuminating, and at least I have something to look back at in regards to my sexual history.