Ethel: He kissed me in a way that I'd never been kissed before. He kissed me in a way that I wanna be kissed forever more.
Ruth (looking up and addressing Bob in a demure, sincere tone): There's something I've never done with a man before. I feel ashamed to ask you to do it. If I tell you, promise me you won't laugh.
Bob (opening his eyes and looking down at Ruth to address her in a compassionate, understanding tone): I promise. I won't laugh at you. I swear it.
Ruth (addressing Bob): Would you grab on to the back of my head and fuck me in the mouth really hard? I feel so embarrassed. No one's ever done that for me. There's something about you. I'd like you to be the first.
Bob (addressing Ruth): Please don't be embarrassed. It's OK. I'll do that for you if you'd like.
(Ruth begins providing Bob with the SchoolGirl Finish. The spotlights illuminating Bob and Ruth remain lit.)
Jean: Oh, God! Yes! Oh, God! Yes! Oh, no! Please - DON"T STICK IT IN MY ASS THAT WAY! Oh, yes! Yes! Oh, yes!
(Morgan continues sodomizing Jean while masturbating her with his hand under her skirt. Jean continues coming and making her orgasmic cooing, excited chimpanzee noises at regular intervals ("Oo Oo Oo") while Bob's and Ruth's dead ancestors and relatives in the back rows continue to mimic her.)
Ethel: I knew that he was mine so I gave him all the love that I had. And one day he took me home to meet his mom and his dad.
(Tony gets up from his chair in the fourth row to the left of Ruth. He quickly and silently walks up behind Morgan. Tony grabs Morgan around the head and repeatedly sinks a knife into Morgan's throat as Morgan begins coming. Maria looks on victoriously, smiling from the chair she had sat in after blowing Tony.)
(Morgan's groans from dying are mixed with his groans from coming so that Jean is unaware of what is happening. She continues coming and making her orgasmic, cooing, excited chimpanzee noises ("Oo Oo Oo"). Bob's and Ruth's dead ancestors and relatives in the back rows continue mimicking her.)
Ethel: Then he asked me to be his bride and always be right by his side. I felt so happy I almost cried. And then he kissed me.
(Spotlights illuminate the king-size bed. A puff of smoke appears. Sitting upright in the middle of the bed in the smoke are the First Ones. They are naked, short and black with shaved heads and ritual scars on their arms and torsos. They both appear to be in their late 20s and look fiercely out at the people in the room. They place the laptop computers which they are each holding on the bed. Mrs. Chong approaches the king-size bed and leans over to address them.)
Mrs. Chong (addressing First Ones): Heh, lady. You need manicure? Me do good job. Best in New York.
(The First Ones look at Mrs. Chong, grab her and pull her onto the bed with them. Mrs. Chong screams in terror as the First Ones begin violently raping her.)
(Awakened by Mrs. Chong's screams, Jean turns her head and looks at the First Ones and Mrs. Chong on the king-size bed. She then turns her head back to look at Morgan as he is stabbed one last time by Tony. As Morgan groans and dies while coming inside of her, Jean lets out an ear-piercing scream and becomes catatonic. As his last act before dying, Morgan turns his head to look at the First Ones and Mrs. Chong on the king-size bed.)
Ethel: And then he kissed me. And then he kissed me. And then he kissed me.
(Catherine, Maria, Bruce, Alice, Tony, and Bob's and Ruth's dead ancestors and relatives in the back rows all look on stunned with terror at the First Ones as they rape Mrs. Chong. Herb continues snoring. Tony runs in horror from the room followed quickly by an equally horrified Maria. Ethel smiles obliviously. Aunt Caroline stands by Ethel unafraid.)
(Bob begins to come. He makes the same orgasmic, cooing, excited chimpanzee noises ("Oo Oo Oo") as Jean, but much more loudly. Due to their fear, Bob's and Ruth's dead ancestors and relatives do not mimic him. Ruth's eyes are closed shut as she provides the SchoolGirl Finish in accordance with her original description. Bob finishes coming.)
Bob (raises his Dictaphone to his mouth with his right hand to dictate an amendment to his review notes): God, that was great! I've never felt so connected! I've got to add something to my review. Insert the following sentence at the end of the review: "Vanessa is my new All Time Favorite!" Everyone'll think I'm a complete stud!
(Bob leans back smiling to himself while closing his eyes. After a suitable lapse of time, Ruth lifts her head up and spits out Bob's come into a paper tissue. Ethel continues smiling. Aunt Caroline leans down and gently kisses Ruth on the forehead. Afterwards, she puts her hand on Ruth's head and gently strokes her every so often as Ruth continues to kneel in front of Bob with her eyes closed.)
(The First Ones and Mrs. Chong vanish from the king-size bed in a puff of smoke.)
(A puff of smoke appears in the lower right corner of the room. Standing there are a boy who appears to be about 6 and a beautiful, tall teenage girl who appears to be about 16. The boy is dressed in pants, shirt, sweater and black oxfords of the sort that used to be worn by boys in the early 1960s. The girl, who is barefoot, is dressed in a dark woolen skirt and white blouse. She wears a dark woolen plaid shawl around her shoulders. The boy and the teenage girl are Morgan and Morgan's Grandmother. Morgan's Grandmother speaks with the soft lilt of rural Ulster.)
Morgan's Grandmother (addressing Morgan while looking towards Jean still sitting catatonically astride the adult Morgan's murdered body): They always get that peaked look when a man's been murdered coming in their arse. ---- All right, gosoon. Let's not be forgetting that you're due at the Plaza. We'll walk up Fifth Avenue like we usually do.
(Morgan walks over and kisses Jean and Ruth on their cheeks before returning to stand with his grandmother for a moment. Morgan and Morgan's Grandmother then walk out of the room.)
(Fade to black)
Mrs. Chong's Debut (Epilogue)
(Spotlights illuminate king-size bed and several rows of chairs.)
(On the king-size bed, Ruth and Liebowitz are engaged in an intense bout of mutual oral sex. Ruth's ass is suspended over Liebowitz's face as she blows him and he eats her. Next to the bed on the nightstand sits the room service tray holding the remnants of the food Ruth ate after Bob left.)
(The Bruce Springsteen song, "Tunnel of Love," begins to play.)
Fat man sitting on a little stool
Takes the money from my hand
While his eyes take a walk all over you
Hands me the ticket smiles and whispers good luck
Cuddle up angel cuddle up my little dove
We'll ride down baby into this tunnel of love
(In the first row of chairs to the left, Bob and Matulevich sit together in catatonic, frightened stupors. Bob reaches down slowly, picks up the paper tri-corner pirate hat left there by Pearson after his recycling and puts it on his own head. Bob then picks up the paper necklace with a paper blue star on it that sits on the chair next to him and nervously places it around his own neck.)
I can feel the soft silk of your blouse
And them soft thrills in our little fun house
Then the lights go out
And it's just the three of us
You, me and all that stuff we're so scared of
Gotta ride down baby into this tunnel of love
(In the first three rows of chairs to the right, Liebowitz's mother, father and wife sit with the persons from the first two tables at Liebowitz's bar mitzvah. All of them are dressed formally. They each look on unconcerned as if they had all been there before watching the same scene. Next to them in the aisle, a ram is tethered grazing on straw waiting to be sacrificed.)
(The curtains in the window blow in the breeze. Outside in the streets are heard the sounds of roaming carnivorous dinosaurs. The sound of one dinosaur is coming steadily closer towards the room as if the dinosaur were climbing up the walls of the hotel from the street.)
(In the second row of chairs to the left, Ethel and Frank sit in the same chairs they sat in during Act One. Frank is reading a newspaper again. Ethel wears the same worn, distracted look she had previously and knits an infant girl's pink wool sweater.)
(In the third and fourth rows of chairs to the left, sits a group of huge men wearing football uniforms and helmets. Two of the football players hold bouquets of flowers. They get up from their chairs and walk through the aisles. One football player sits down next to Bob. The other football player sits down next to Matulevich.)
There's a crazy mirror showing us both in 5-D
I'm laughing at you you're laughing at me
There's a room of shadows
That gets so dark brother
It's easy for two people to lose each other
In this tunnel of love
(The football players place the bouquets of flowers on Bob's and Matulevich's laps and take off their football helmets. The football players then put their arms around Bob's and Matulevich's shoulders. The football players kiss them gently on their cheeks as if they were their sweethearts.)
It ought to be easy ought to be simple enough
Man meets woman and they fall in love
But the house is haunted and the ride gets rough
And you've got to learn to live with
What you can't rise above
If you want to ride on down
In through this tunnel of love
(Fade to black)
Ruth (looking up and addressing Bob in a demure, sincere tone): There's something I've never done with a man before. I feel ashamed to ask you to do it. If I tell you, promise me you won't laugh.
Bob (opening his eyes and looking down at Ruth to address her in a compassionate, understanding tone): I promise. I won't laugh at you. I swear it.
Ruth (addressing Bob): Would you grab on to the back of my head and fuck me in the mouth really hard? I feel so embarrassed. No one's ever done that for me. There's something about you. I'd like you to be the first.
Bob (addressing Ruth): Please don't be embarrassed. It's OK. I'll do that for you if you'd like.
(Ruth begins providing Bob with the SchoolGirl Finish. The spotlights illuminating Bob and Ruth remain lit.)
Jean: Oh, God! Yes! Oh, God! Yes! Oh, no! Please - DON"T STICK IT IN MY ASS THAT WAY! Oh, yes! Yes! Oh, yes!
(Morgan continues sodomizing Jean while masturbating her with his hand under her skirt. Jean continues coming and making her orgasmic cooing, excited chimpanzee noises at regular intervals ("Oo Oo Oo") while Bob's and Ruth's dead ancestors and relatives in the back rows continue to mimic her.)
Ethel: I knew that he was mine so I gave him all the love that I had. And one day he took me home to meet his mom and his dad.
(Tony gets up from his chair in the fourth row to the left of Ruth. He quickly and silently walks up behind Morgan. Tony grabs Morgan around the head and repeatedly sinks a knife into Morgan's throat as Morgan begins coming. Maria looks on victoriously, smiling from the chair she had sat in after blowing Tony.)
(Morgan's groans from dying are mixed with his groans from coming so that Jean is unaware of what is happening. She continues coming and making her orgasmic, cooing, excited chimpanzee noises ("Oo Oo Oo"). Bob's and Ruth's dead ancestors and relatives in the back rows continue mimicking her.)
Ethel: Then he asked me to be his bride and always be right by his side. I felt so happy I almost cried. And then he kissed me.
(Spotlights illuminate the king-size bed. A puff of smoke appears. Sitting upright in the middle of the bed in the smoke are the First Ones. They are naked, short and black with shaved heads and ritual scars on their arms and torsos. They both appear to be in their late 20s and look fiercely out at the people in the room. They place the laptop computers which they are each holding on the bed. Mrs. Chong approaches the king-size bed and leans over to address them.)
Mrs. Chong (addressing First Ones): Heh, lady. You need manicure? Me do good job. Best in New York.
(The First Ones look at Mrs. Chong, grab her and pull her onto the bed with them. Mrs. Chong screams in terror as the First Ones begin violently raping her.)
(Awakened by Mrs. Chong's screams, Jean turns her head and looks at the First Ones and Mrs. Chong on the king-size bed. She then turns her head back to look at Morgan as he is stabbed one last time by Tony. As Morgan groans and dies while coming inside of her, Jean lets out an ear-piercing scream and becomes catatonic. As his last act before dying, Morgan turns his head to look at the First Ones and Mrs. Chong on the king-size bed.)
Ethel: And then he kissed me. And then he kissed me. And then he kissed me.
(Catherine, Maria, Bruce, Alice, Tony, and Bob's and Ruth's dead ancestors and relatives in the back rows all look on stunned with terror at the First Ones as they rape Mrs. Chong. Herb continues snoring. Tony runs in horror from the room followed quickly by an equally horrified Maria. Ethel smiles obliviously. Aunt Caroline stands by Ethel unafraid.)
(Bob begins to come. He makes the same orgasmic, cooing, excited chimpanzee noises ("Oo Oo Oo") as Jean, but much more loudly. Due to their fear, Bob's and Ruth's dead ancestors and relatives do not mimic him. Ruth's eyes are closed shut as she provides the SchoolGirl Finish in accordance with her original description. Bob finishes coming.)
Bob (raises his Dictaphone to his mouth with his right hand to dictate an amendment to his review notes): God, that was great! I've never felt so connected! I've got to add something to my review. Insert the following sentence at the end of the review: "Vanessa is my new All Time Favorite!" Everyone'll think I'm a complete stud!
(Bob leans back smiling to himself while closing his eyes. After a suitable lapse of time, Ruth lifts her head up and spits out Bob's come into a paper tissue. Ethel continues smiling. Aunt Caroline leans down and gently kisses Ruth on the forehead. Afterwards, she puts her hand on Ruth's head and gently strokes her every so often as Ruth continues to kneel in front of Bob with her eyes closed.)
(The First Ones and Mrs. Chong vanish from the king-size bed in a puff of smoke.)
(A puff of smoke appears in the lower right corner of the room. Standing there are a boy who appears to be about 6 and a beautiful, tall teenage girl who appears to be about 16. The boy is dressed in pants, shirt, sweater and black oxfords of the sort that used to be worn by boys in the early 1960s. The girl, who is barefoot, is dressed in a dark woolen skirt and white blouse. She wears a dark woolen plaid shawl around her shoulders. The boy and the teenage girl are Morgan and Morgan's Grandmother. Morgan's Grandmother speaks with the soft lilt of rural Ulster.)
Morgan's Grandmother (addressing Morgan while looking towards Jean still sitting catatonically astride the adult Morgan's murdered body): They always get that peaked look when a man's been murdered coming in their arse. ---- All right, gosoon. Let's not be forgetting that you're due at the Plaza. We'll walk up Fifth Avenue like we usually do.
(Morgan walks over and kisses Jean and Ruth on their cheeks before returning to stand with his grandmother for a moment. Morgan and Morgan's Grandmother then walk out of the room.)
(Fade to black)
Mrs. Chong's Debut (Epilogue)
(Spotlights illuminate king-size bed and several rows of chairs.)
(On the king-size bed, Ruth and Liebowitz are engaged in an intense bout of mutual oral sex. Ruth's ass is suspended over Liebowitz's face as she blows him and he eats her. Next to the bed on the nightstand sits the room service tray holding the remnants of the food Ruth ate after Bob left.)
(The Bruce Springsteen song, "Tunnel of Love," begins to play.)
Fat man sitting on a little stool
Takes the money from my hand
While his eyes take a walk all over you
Hands me the ticket smiles and whispers good luck
Cuddle up angel cuddle up my little dove
We'll ride down baby into this tunnel of love
(In the first row of chairs to the left, Bob and Matulevich sit together in catatonic, frightened stupors. Bob reaches down slowly, picks up the paper tri-corner pirate hat left there by Pearson after his recycling and puts it on his own head. Bob then picks up the paper necklace with a paper blue star on it that sits on the chair next to him and nervously places it around his own neck.)
I can feel the soft silk of your blouse
And them soft thrills in our little fun house
Then the lights go out
And it's just the three of us
You, me and all that stuff we're so scared of
Gotta ride down baby into this tunnel of love
(In the first three rows of chairs to the right, Liebowitz's mother, father and wife sit with the persons from the first two tables at Liebowitz's bar mitzvah. All of them are dressed formally. They each look on unconcerned as if they had all been there before watching the same scene. Next to them in the aisle, a ram is tethered grazing on straw waiting to be sacrificed.)
(The curtains in the window blow in the breeze. Outside in the streets are heard the sounds of roaming carnivorous dinosaurs. The sound of one dinosaur is coming steadily closer towards the room as if the dinosaur were climbing up the walls of the hotel from the street.)
(In the second row of chairs to the left, Ethel and Frank sit in the same chairs they sat in during Act One. Frank is reading a newspaper again. Ethel wears the same worn, distracted look she had previously and knits an infant girl's pink wool sweater.)
(In the third and fourth rows of chairs to the left, sits a group of huge men wearing football uniforms and helmets. Two of the football players hold bouquets of flowers. They get up from their chairs and walk through the aisles. One football player sits down next to Bob. The other football player sits down next to Matulevich.)
There's a crazy mirror showing us both in 5-D
I'm laughing at you you're laughing at me
There's a room of shadows
That gets so dark brother
It's easy for two people to lose each other
In this tunnel of love
(The football players place the bouquets of flowers on Bob's and Matulevich's laps and take off their football helmets. The football players then put their arms around Bob's and Matulevich's shoulders. The football players kiss them gently on their cheeks as if they were their sweethearts.)
It ought to be easy ought to be simple enough
Man meets woman and they fall in love
But the house is haunted and the ride gets rough
And you've got to learn to live with
What you can't rise above
If you want to ride on down
In through this tunnel of love
(Fade to black)