I would like to welcome you to MSJ airlines flight 69, with private, non-stop service to pure ecstasy (for men, only). I am your captain (and the ONLY in-flight crew member you’ll need 
. At this time I’d like your full attention as I detail the safety features of this flight.
You must strap up. Life jackets are mandatory and will be supplied, for your convenience.
When you are ready to use one, please notify me immediately, or slip it over your head, and firmly roll down. If you need assistance putting on your life jacket, please do not hesitate to ask.
Should an explosion occur, there are two emergency exits on this chartered flight, and they are located in the oral cavity, and the kitty section. In the event of decompression an oxygen mask will NOT drop from the compartment above your seat. Instead, I will invoke the following procedures in order to re-compress you!!!
(1) I will place my mouth firmly around you and blow. At which point it will be in your best interest to sit back, relax and try to breathe normally.
(2) If unconsciousness should occur as a result, I am CPR certified and will perform mouth-to-mouth in order to resuscitate you.
Tampering with the anal region, or smoking aboard this flight is prohibited by law. However, sounding the alarm of pure bliss is authorized and encouraged
This flight provides Incall service only and will be landing in the Cincinnati area May 20 - 23, 2008. In order to receive desired seating, please make your reservations now!!!
I know you have many options for flying, and I thank you for choosing MSJ Airlines. I wish you an enjoyable flight!!
. At this time I’d like your full attention as I detail the safety features of this flight.You must strap up. Life jackets are mandatory and will be supplied, for your convenience.
When you are ready to use one, please notify me immediately, or slip it over your head, and firmly roll down. If you need assistance putting on your life jacket, please do not hesitate to ask.
Should an explosion occur, there are two emergency exits on this chartered flight, and they are located in the oral cavity, and the kitty section. In the event of decompression an oxygen mask will NOT drop from the compartment above your seat. Instead, I will invoke the following procedures in order to re-compress you!!!
(1) I will place my mouth firmly around you and blow. At which point it will be in your best interest to sit back, relax and try to breathe normally.
(2) If unconsciousness should occur as a result, I am CPR certified and will perform mouth-to-mouth in order to resuscitate you.
Tampering with the anal region, or smoking aboard this flight is prohibited by law. However, sounding the alarm of pure bliss is authorized and encouraged
This flight provides Incall service only and will be landing in the Cincinnati area May 20 - 23, 2008. In order to receive desired seating, please make your reservations now!!!
I know you have many options for flying, and I thank you for choosing MSJ Airlines. I wish you an enjoyable flight!!