It's throwback Thursday, so I thought I'd go way back to my childhood and post one of my fave kid jokes.
Be kind to me as I try to get this thread off the ground.
Little Johnny and the Alphabet
It's the first day of class and the kindergarten teacher introduces herself. "My name is Mrs. Pincus and I will be your teacher this year."
A chuckle comes from the back of the room as Mrs. Pincus strains to see which student reacted to the name that she's always hated. She worries to herself, "Do I have a troublemaker in here?"
But she moves on addressing the students and for her first lesson, she decides to see just how smart her pupils are.
So, she asks them to give her a word for different letters of the alphabet.
She begins, of course, with 'A.'
Immediately, a hand shoots up from the back of the room and Little Johnny shouts out "ass!"
Mrs. Pincus blushes with that answer, but covers it up by saying, "That's right, Johnny. A is for ass, another word for a donkey."
Mrs. Pincus then says, "Can someone give me a word that starts with B?"
Little Johnny is the first one to raise his hand and the teacher is hesitant to call on him again, but she's curious, so she says, "Go ahead, Johnny."
Johnny smiles and says, "balls."
Mrs. Pincus is perplexed by his response, but nonetheless relieved by the general nature of the word, so she says nothing in response.
She continues with 'C.'
Johnny is the only kid to raise his hand, so Mrs. Pincus reluctantly calls on him.
"Okay, Johnny, give me a C word."
Johnny grins and replies, "cock."
Again, Mrs. Pincus thinks to herself that she should cover up the possilbe lewd meaning of the word, so she replies, "Very good, Johnny. Cock is another term for a rooster."
Thinking about the next letter, Mrs. Pincus realizes it could be very dangerous if Johnny comes up with another potentially lewd word.
But she's going in alphabetical order, so she says, "Who can give me a word that begins with D?" and hopes that someone besides Johnny responds.
Unfortunately, he's the only student to raise his hand and he yells out, "damn!"
Quickly realizing that he's used a homophone, she counters that by replying, "Very good, Johnny. A dam is used to hold back water."
Quite pleased with herself so far, a smile comes over Mrs. Pincus' face as she realizes the next letter is a fail-safe one.
Johnny, on the other hand, is beginning to look quite frustrated by his teacher's ability to counter his examples.
Excitedly, Mrs. Pincus asks the class for an example of an 'E' word.
When Johnny is again the only child to raise his hand, Mrs. Pincus confidently calls on him.
"Go ahead, Johnny, tell me a word that begins with E."
Johnny replies with a straight face, "Elephants," as Mrs. Pincus beams broadly, thinking she's home free.
But then, Johnny begins to laugh hysterically as he continues, "Elephants. Big mother-fuckin' elephants."
Be kind to me as I try to get this thread off the ground.
Little Johnny and the Alphabet
It's the first day of class and the kindergarten teacher introduces herself. "My name is Mrs. Pincus and I will be your teacher this year."
A chuckle comes from the back of the room as Mrs. Pincus strains to see which student reacted to the name that she's always hated. She worries to herself, "Do I have a troublemaker in here?"
But she moves on addressing the students and for her first lesson, she decides to see just how smart her pupils are.
So, she asks them to give her a word for different letters of the alphabet.
She begins, of course, with 'A.'
Immediately, a hand shoots up from the back of the room and Little Johnny shouts out "ass!"
Mrs. Pincus blushes with that answer, but covers it up by saying, "That's right, Johnny. A is for ass, another word for a donkey."
Mrs. Pincus then says, "Can someone give me a word that starts with B?"
Little Johnny is the first one to raise his hand and the teacher is hesitant to call on him again, but she's curious, so she says, "Go ahead, Johnny."
Johnny smiles and says, "balls."
Mrs. Pincus is perplexed by his response, but nonetheless relieved by the general nature of the word, so she says nothing in response.
She continues with 'C.'
Johnny is the only kid to raise his hand, so Mrs. Pincus reluctantly calls on him.
"Okay, Johnny, give me a C word."
Johnny grins and replies, "cock."
Again, Mrs. Pincus thinks to herself that she should cover up the possilbe lewd meaning of the word, so she replies, "Very good, Johnny. Cock is another term for a rooster."
Thinking about the next letter, Mrs. Pincus realizes it could be very dangerous if Johnny comes up with another potentially lewd word.
But she's going in alphabetical order, so she says, "Who can give me a word that begins with D?" and hopes that someone besides Johnny responds.
Unfortunately, he's the only student to raise his hand and he yells out, "damn!"
Quickly realizing that he's used a homophone, she counters that by replying, "Very good, Johnny. A dam is used to hold back water."
Quite pleased with herself so far, a smile comes over Mrs. Pincus' face as she realizes the next letter is a fail-safe one.
Johnny, on the other hand, is beginning to look quite frustrated by his teacher's ability to counter his examples.
Excitedly, Mrs. Pincus asks the class for an example of an 'E' word.
When Johnny is again the only child to raise his hand, Mrs. Pincus confidently calls on him.
"Go ahead, Johnny, tell me a word that begins with E."
Johnny replies with a straight face, "Elephants," as Mrs. Pincus beams broadly, thinking she's home free.
But then, Johnny begins to laugh hysterically as he continues, "Elephants. Big mother-fuckin' elephants."
