If this is GFE, no thanks

#1
Twice now I have developed some degree of affection for professionals who told me that they considered me a friend. The common thing is that they would let me into their life, and for weeks on end they would treat me like a friend, then they would drop off the map.

Now I am not the clingy type, but I have this hang up about being there, then disappearing. If you are going to drop off the map, tell me you need to lay low. Just refusing to reply makes me realize it was all bull.

Now I realize it's supposed to be all pretend, but there is no need to start seeing me socially, tell me about your life, volunteer that you want to do things with me socially, then turn off completely. With this one, err... girl(?), I even sense something different the last time I see her. Rather than at least admit as much and trust me not to pry, she goes to great lengths to sit on my lap tell me that she loves my company. Juicy smoochy, bye-bye, and poof!

If we keep it cordial, and don't promise what we can't deliver, then that's cool. This however, is not fun.
 
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#2
Puffin you know these girls are all flakes with emotional issues. Enjoy them when they are with you and don't have any expectations this way you won't be disappointed.
 
#3
Puffin you know these girls are all flakes with emotional issues. Enjoy them when they are with you and don't have any expectations this way you won't be disappointed.
Agreed. Though that pretty much involves treating everyone of these girls as characters in some sort of performance, where the only thing that is being said are the intended lines. Nothing is real ever, no matter what claims are made to the contrary.

Would be easier if nobody veered from the script.
 
#4
True, some of the ladies are flaky (as if we Johns aren't).

But also remember that many of these ladies have kids, a husband, or their own parents to look after. Once in awhile they need to look after their family members and thus they disappear to hide their secret life with you.

True story: I recently asked for 4 hands service, and hands 3&4 belonged to a lady who was out of the office and needed to be summoned. The lady arrived after about 10 minutes, and she was obviously older, and a bit fat. But her massage skill was great! Gradually I came to really enjoy the touch of this older lady, and when the first lady went out for a moment I asked the older lady for outside favors. NO DICE, she lives with her husband! ROTFLMAO here.

Next!
 
#5
Twice now I have developed some degree of affection for professionals who told me that they considered me a friend. The common thing is that they would let me into their life, and for weeks on end they would treat me like a friend, then they would drop off the map.

Now I am not the clingy type, but I have this hang up about being there, then disappearing. If you are going to drop off the map, tell me you need to lay low. Just refusing to reply makes me realize it was all bull.

Now I realize it's supposed to be all pretend, but there is no need to start seeing me socially, tell me about your life, volunteer that you want to do things with me socially, then turn off completely. With this one, err... girl(?), I even sense something different the last time I see her. Rather than at least admit as much and trust me not to pry, she goes to great lengths to sit on my lap tell me that she loves my company. Juicy smoochy, bye-bye, and poof!

If we keep it cordial, and don't promise what we can't deliver, then that's cool. This however, is not fun.

Sounds like you were about to cry. Poor thing.
 
#6
I have been lured into believing there was more then professional relationship by clients only to have then disappear without explanation. I could not contact them because that would be unprofessional since they were still a client, it is the risk you take when letting too many emotions into the defined relationship. The provider should have the same right to bail and disappear, it's not being flaky, it's the reality of instant intimacy for a price, you can't undo that. It's sad, I have had my feeling hurt by clients that I felt lead me on, it is why I have a no date, no communication outside the session, no talk about getting together policy.

The board is the only exception, I have corresponded on and off the board with some guys who I have seen as clients before because of the flow of communication is not isolated to just the two of us, it's kind of keeps things in perspective. We don't want to do anything rash that would exile ourselves from the board so a more established friendship with boundaries occurs with the help of the community backdrop.
 
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#8
Puffin,

Part of being a decent human being means you will sometimes have your feelings hurt for a while...and then you get over it.

The script is that there is no script.

You will be told nice things, treated nice, and she will want to be with you and be your best bud...until she doesnt.

You can take some consolation from knowing that NP4P isnt any fucking different.

Chalk it up to a life experience. Learn something from it. Then move on.
 
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#10
I have to say, it's not a bad arrangement, and it reminds me of some friends (and a relative) who are around, and then they are gone. It's a mindset that I can understand, but barely. There's not a lot of serious concern as at what the other person is thinking, and that's part of the whole carefree thing; I'm here, lets have fun, maybe I'll see you later, but on my time.
 
#11
I have to say, it's not a bad arrangement, and it reminds me of some friends (and a relative) who are around, and then they are gone. It's a mindset that I can understand, but barely. There's not a lot of serious concern as at what the other person is thinking, and that's part of the whole carefree thing; I'm here, lets have fun, maybe I'll see you later, but on my time.
As my old grand pappy fester once told me... never all in love with a hooka. ( or an actress)
 
#15
As my old grand pappy fester once told me... never all in love with a hooka. ( or an actress)
An actress?

Man, that's what they all are! It's only a matter of how good they are at it.

Again, the line between P4P and NP4P gets blurry and you wander, meander, and carelessly weave back and forth across that indistinct border the whole time.

Wecome to the Gray Zone!

You know it's P4P but you can easily set that particular slice of reality aside when conditions are right. And when you're getting laid on a regular basis conditions are right. Then you get the Wake Up Call with unexpected behavior - that maybe you should have expected - and you're yanked back to the real freakin world like a fish caught on a hook.

I think women have a terrific sense for when it's gone too far and can pick up on it long before a man will even begin to notice. That's what will prompt the Wake Up Call behavior. I'm not saying that's what happened in this case - shit, I have no idea - but it is something to be aware of.

It's another example of the partner with the least amount of emotional involvement in the partnership easily slipping into callous behavior. Shit, NP4P and P4P really, really have lots of similarities!
 
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