How do you guys stop?
- Thread starter keepitcovered
- Start date
On stopping, my sense is it turns on where you're coming from in getting into the game. Step 1 is to figure that out/self-reflect/discern. Then how you dismount depends on which type. A bit hokey but let's make it into 4 types.
(Obviously if you have a regular/ATF whom you just like as though she were a booty call or a cool enough fuck buddy whom you happen to pay, then with that chick you have crossed over from the game to some kind of paid situationship. So, if you ask me, you're out of the game if you're just down to that one.)
1. On a heartbroken rampage/fuck the world - if you're fucking these hoes so that you can just disrespect a hoes/hate fuck/cum on/in with contempt, you need to get to the bottom of that with therapy. If you have the means, you also should travel around the country or the world. Meeting women in other cultures who simply aren't saddled with whatever local bullshit pissed you off will help you heal and change perspective. Women in other places tend to be more like regular ass women. It's in these large fucking cities where they get the complexes that drive you into a rage or just wear you out.
2. Just looking for sex because you're in a sexless relationship - the way to quit coming fron this standpoint is to figure out if you just need a release or if you need intimacy or to feel like a human. If you need a release, you generally should be able to manage by jerking off and then ratcheting down the frequency to where you will go insane if you don't get inside a hole. This is a long term path to quitting. If it is intimacy/the feeling like a human thing, see the next point.
3. Looking for sex as same way to feel human and get a break from life's bullshit - coming from this standpoint, I think the way actually is to lean into your desire. Set standards for yourself that make sure you are getting what you really want from these chicks. So, hold out unless the circumstances are what would relax you: at the time, in the place, at the price, and with the nasty acts that you would actually enjoy, rather than desperately chasing that one $100 bbfs provider for her one slot in the middle of the work week somewhere in west bumblefuck where she hasn't already absorbed liters of jizz by the time you arrive. You'd be surprised by how simply leaning into the real relaxation that you want will help you quit. You will realize that none of these hoes give a fuck about you; they only want the money. It's a job for them like the same job and whatever else it is you're trying to fuck them to get a break from. They might be professional but that is it: they do not and will never like you. You will never fuck your way into their concern or respect, not even when you give them some good dick and make them cum or appear to come. If you hold the line on standards, your ideal circumstances will never materialize: they are never available when it is actually convenient for you/when it would actually be what you want. They are never around in the morning or on the early weekend after a rest when you are rock hard and feeling great. If you even think you found such a ho, know that soon she'll be pimped because the sort of ho of your relaxation dreams - one of those who actually seems to like the nasty shit that relaxes you/who seems to be just into getting fucked - is going to be dominated by some other man who fucks her good enough and then can spring their agenda on her. There are dudes who are great predators: they will find that chick on the same website where you found them. Leaning in is counterintuitive, but it really helps slow you down to a stop: you get the itch, remember that one moment of the perfect hot action, then realize that the latest one you are texting has that thing which annoys or puts you off. It will remind you that for every mind-blowing instance, there were 100 disappointments that you realized after post nut clarity set in. The inertia will set in and instead you'll grab a drink, some, watch a ballgame, jerk off to jappy memories, exercise, take a walk, etc. Soon, you'll come to appreciate the extra free time that you now have not driving around like a lunatic trying to show up for your second boss called the escort whose schedule governs you. Your body will feel relaxed; you will realize how chasing ideal hoes who are disease free was such a burden, and will continue onwards. (You may relapse into type 2 and just need a release because you'll be feeling good. That is ok - in the long term you are quitting.).
4. You love the game of chasing hoes - this is another type that benefits from leaning in. I get it: it sure feels like you're pulling chicks when you just text or dial them up and fuck them, and when you fuck the rainbow. But just lean into the actual game that you miss: the way that you could spit game and pull it down. Again if you have the means just travel, to different parts of your city, around your city/area or to other cities. You'll find a fresh crop of chicks, maybe even more age adjusted up ones, who are like the chicks you remember from your 20s. They are the ones to pull and will give you that rush. If you fall back into type 2, you'll temporarily relapse for a release but keep it moving away from this bullshit.
Just some thoughts!
(Obviously if you have a regular/ATF whom you just like as though she were a booty call or a cool enough fuck buddy whom you happen to pay, then with that chick you have crossed over from the game to some kind of paid situationship. So, if you ask me, you're out of the game if you're just down to that one.)
1. On a heartbroken rampage/fuck the world - if you're fucking these hoes so that you can just disrespect a hoes/hate fuck/cum on/in with contempt, you need to get to the bottom of that with therapy. If you have the means, you also should travel around the country or the world. Meeting women in other cultures who simply aren't saddled with whatever local bullshit pissed you off will help you heal and change perspective. Women in other places tend to be more like regular ass women. It's in these large fucking cities where they get the complexes that drive you into a rage or just wear you out.
2. Just looking for sex because you're in a sexless relationship - the way to quit coming fron this standpoint is to figure out if you just need a release or if you need intimacy or to feel like a human. If you need a release, you generally should be able to manage by jerking off and then ratcheting down the frequency to where you will go insane if you don't get inside a hole. This is a long term path to quitting. If it is intimacy/the feeling like a human thing, see the next point.
3. Looking for sex as same way to feel human and get a break from life's bullshit - coming from this standpoint, I think the way actually is to lean into your desire. Set standards for yourself that make sure you are getting what you really want from these chicks. So, hold out unless the circumstances are what would relax you: at the time, in the place, at the price, and with the nasty acts that you would actually enjoy, rather than desperately chasing that one $100 bbfs provider for her one slot in the middle of the work week somewhere in west bumblefuck where she hasn't already absorbed liters of jizz by the time you arrive. You'd be surprised by how simply leaning into the real relaxation that you want will help you quit. You will realize that none of these hoes give a fuck about you; they only want the money. It's a job for them like the same job and whatever else it is you're trying to fuck them to get a break from. They might be professional but that is it: they do not and will never like you. You will never fuck your way into their concern or respect, not even when you give them some good dick and make them cum or appear to come. If you hold the line on standards, your ideal circumstances will never materialize: they are never available when it is actually convenient for you/when it would actually be what you want. They are never around in the morning or on the early weekend after a rest when you are rock hard and feeling great. If you even think you found such a ho, know that soon she'll be pimped because the sort of ho of your relaxation dreams - one of those who actually seems to like the nasty shit that relaxes you/who seems to be just into getting fucked - is going to be dominated by some other man who fucks her good enough and then can spring their agenda on her. There are dudes who are great predators: they will find that chick on the same website where you found them. Leaning in is counterintuitive, but it really helps slow you down to a stop: you get the itch, remember that one moment of the perfect hot action, then realize that the latest one you are texting has that thing which annoys or puts you off. It will remind you that for every mind-blowing instance, there were 100 disappointments that you realized after post nut clarity set in. The inertia will set in and instead you'll grab a drink, some, watch a ballgame, jerk off to jappy memories, exercise, take a walk, etc. Soon, you'll come to appreciate the extra free time that you now have not driving around like a lunatic trying to show up for your second boss called the escort whose schedule governs you. Your body will feel relaxed; you will realize how chasing ideal hoes who are disease free was such a burden, and will continue onwards. (You may relapse into type 2 and just need a release because you'll be feeling good. That is ok - in the long term you are quitting.).
4. You love the game of chasing hoes - this is another type that benefits from leaning in. I get it: it sure feels like you're pulling chicks when you just text or dial them up and fuck them, and when you fuck the rainbow. But just lean into the actual game that you miss: the way that you could spit game and pull it down. Again if you have the means just travel, to different parts of your city, around your city/area or to other cities. You'll find a fresh crop of chicks, maybe even more age adjusted up ones, who are like the chicks you remember from your 20s. They are the ones to pull and will give you that rush. If you fall back into type 2, you'll temporarily relapse for a release but keep it moving away from this bullshit.
Just some thoughts!
You put a lot of thought into this.
I'd place myself in 2. Married over 45 years (started young). I'm as horny as ever, she not so much and when we get around to it it is a vanilla as it gets (no oral, no anal). Wasn't that way when we started.
So I go elsewhere for real sexual intimacy. I've been turning to tantric which is an incredible experience, but I itch for an actual BBBJ and sex.
I have avoided actual paid sex for a few months (not including tantric) and have been rewarded by never having the std worries. But the need is creeping up on me. I was always a sucker for bbfs, but I think I have learned to skip the temptation (the days and weeks of stress are not worth it).
Still not sure if I could turn down the offer if given by the right girl.
I'd place myself in 2. Married over 45 years (started young). I'm as horny as ever, she not so much and when we get around to it it is a vanilla as it gets (no oral, no anal). Wasn't that way when we started.
So I go elsewhere for real sexual intimacy. I've been turning to tantric which is an incredible experience, but I itch for an actual BBBJ and sex.
I have avoided actual paid sex for a few months (not including tantric) and have been rewarded by never having the std worries. But the need is creeping up on me. I was always a sucker for bbfs, but I think I have learned to skip the temptation (the days and weeks of stress are not worth it).
Still not sure if I could turn down the offer if given by the right girl.
Brother, I feel you; and that's why you lean in to what you really want. Who among us doesn't crave that, especially if you're taking care of yourself and the youthful horniness springs up? Sleeping and working out will make you horny because your shit will work properly, with blood flow and all that. Who doesn't want that delicious feeling of real intimacy? The thing is that most of these chicks don't offer it. The right girl who will give you bbfs is a girl you will meet in a bar, or some conference. Many of us 30, 40, and 50 something guys are cutting back on bars to take better care of ourselves. These providers just want your money. So, hold the line on what you actually want: the right girl is not just the service but circumstances that would feel intimate. Lean into that - and you'll have no reason to exit the sober highway because that oasis isn't going to materialize. The right girl never comes up as an option in this game.
And number 2 is the best. It is very manageable as it turns dipping into this as some kind of enhanced jerk off session. That inherently loses its appeal when jerking off is just easier and, for that reason, more relaxing. And frankly, most of these providers engage us as if we're number 2: that's why they try to bait and switch us into just using them as a hole to release into when we're fiending. They promise us the world and then angle us into the quickest and least risky release for them, and then look at us like we're crazy when we are disappointed not to have received the advertised intimacy.
(A tip: get a short stay at one of those hot sheet joints with porn. Put the porn on loud. Jerk off, and in between sip or smoke if you partake; take a nap after you've drained it. You will feel better and more relaxed than how you typically feel after fighting and rushing with one of these hoes, and just as well as after one your better bbfs experiences. It is much cheaper to spend $65 or $80 at one of these motels with porn than to pay some malingering ho.)
And number 2 is the best. It is very manageable as it turns dipping into this as some kind of enhanced jerk off session. That inherently loses its appeal when jerking off is just easier and, for that reason, more relaxing. And frankly, most of these providers engage us as if we're number 2: that's why they try to bait and switch us into just using them as a hole to release into when we're fiending. They promise us the world and then angle us into the quickest and least risky release for them, and then look at us like we're crazy when we are disappointed not to have received the advertised intimacy.
(A tip: get a short stay at one of those hot sheet joints with porn. Put the porn on loud. Jerk off, and in between sip or smoke if you partake; take a nap after you've drained it. You will feel better and more relaxed than how you typically feel after fighting and rushing with one of these hoes, and just as well as after one your better bbfs experiences. It is much cheaper to spend $65 or $80 at one of these motels with porn than to pay some malingering ho.)
You realize that you're basically telling him to become an Incel?
Advocating jerking off to porn rather than interacting with another human being?
Not all encounters with working girls have to be negative where the girl is rushing.
The guys who find that most of their experiences are negative, non GFE, cold and rushed are overwhelming the same guys who can't score woman in real life because of a lack of social skills or being obsese or having bad hygiene or possibly all three
Advocating jerking off to porn rather than interacting with another human being?
Not all encounters with working girls have to be negative where the girl is rushing.
The guys who find that most of their experiences are negative, non GFE, cold and rushed are overwhelming the same guys who can't score woman in real life because of a lack of social skills or being obsese or having bad hygiene or possibly all three
For me jerking off does not replace being with someone.
I love it when a girl seems really into what we are doing. She may be faking it, but that is the fantasy we are buying. Jerking off to porn (we all do it) relieves the tension, but is also just a fantasy.
I have had experiences where a girl comes hard, no faking, squirting, spasm, etc..., and just pulls me up and holds on to me like it's real.
(That was one of my earliest bbfs experiences, where she wrapped her arms around me, kissed me and just pulled me in)
I have also had those where I look up from DATY and she is staring into space or, worse, on her phone.
So the intimacy is, or feels, real.
You are right that finding a girl is the better option. But for a married guy who does not want to get a divorce, that is a risky option.
(I actually have been close to someone (also married) for the past 9 years, but aside from heavy petting, getting her off on a park bench, we haven't had sex since Covid. A combination of living far apart and her real fear of getting caught.
But while it lasted, it was the best sex I ever had. And I stayed away from hookers until about 2 years ago when I realized that we were unlikely to resume any time soon. After orgasming, all she wanted to do was wrap her body around me and practically not move for a half an hour. So now it's just daily video chats and occasional walks in the park when we manage to sneak away a few times a year. )
I love it when a girl seems really into what we are doing. She may be faking it, but that is the fantasy we are buying. Jerking off to porn (we all do it) relieves the tension, but is also just a fantasy.
I have had experiences where a girl comes hard, no faking, squirting, spasm, etc..., and just pulls me up and holds on to me like it's real.
(That was one of my earliest bbfs experiences, where she wrapped her arms around me, kissed me and just pulled me in)
I have also had those where I look up from DATY and she is staring into space or, worse, on her phone.
So the intimacy is, or feels, real.
You are right that finding a girl is the better option. But for a married guy who does not want to get a divorce, that is a risky option.
(I actually have been close to someone (also married) for the past 9 years, but aside from heavy petting, getting her off on a park bench, we haven't had sex since Covid. A combination of living far apart and her real fear of getting caught.
But while it lasted, it was the best sex I ever had. And I stayed away from hookers until about 2 years ago when I realized that we were unlikely to resume any time soon. After orgasming, all she wanted to do was wrap her body around me and practically not move for a half an hour. So now it's just daily video chats and occasional walks in the park when we manage to sneak away a few times a year. )
Pretty much describes my situation, the exception being an occasional visit to one of our advertisers or a potential advertiser.
As far as your 4 examples go;
Very interesting and well thought out.
Not that I agree with everything you wrote but it is a good read.
Thanks for taking the time to type it all out and sharing.
As far as your 4 examples go;
Very interesting and well thought out.
Not that I agree with everything you wrote but it is a good read.
Thanks for taking the time to type it all out and sharing.
Exactly this
"The guys who find that most of their experiences are negative, non GFE, cold and rushed are overwhelming the same guys who can't score woman in real life because of a lack of social skills or being obese or having bad hygiene or possibly all three "
The number of obese dudes I've seen on the security cameras while eating lunch in some of the places is wild btw
"The guys who find that most of their experiences are negative, non GFE, cold and rushed are overwhelming the same guys who can't score woman in real life because of a lack of social skills or being obese or having bad hygiene or possibly all three "
The number of obese dudes I've seen on the security cameras while eating lunch in some of the places is wild btw
Yeah for sure. I think getting in the game clear eyed is my best advice. Many of us need it for various situations: I think number 2 I wrote out is for all those situations where guys need a human touch. And yes I have had the fantasy experience too. I simply wanted to address on this thread those who want out and are trying to think through this outside of the whole you're wrong or evil thing. Wanting a break, intimacy, a nut, to feel good, etc. is perfect human. Focus on how to actually get there, get what you want. That's the entirety of what I was writing.
Got you, friends! That's why I will continue to issue reviews if/when I go through my own 1 through 4 experience and pass on whatever information I come across! Stay safe and well, everyone!
Got you, friends! That's why I will continue to issue reviews if/when I go through my own 1 through 4 experience and pass on whatever information I come across! Stay safe and well, everyone!