Well...it did!
Sometime in 2004 I was with this crazy Colombiana that I was dating. We were in lower Manhattan and driving home. She was hammered, so she put the seat back and was trying to sleep it off. We get to a light and this real pretty and obviously wrecked girl knocks on my window and says, "Hey man, I'll suck your cock if you take me to Brooklyn!"
Fuck, I wish that would happen to me again.
Gavy
Well, bunyon call me at 3 AM and he gets the blow off from his "target" with vague promises of "tomorrow". I'm up. I've got laundry to do (the vomit stained bathroom mat and towels "still" hadn't been washed. Well, the 24 hour laundry is dead at 4 AM, so I head out.
I get on the Clearview Expressway northbound a little after 4 AM. I get an exit and I see a car pulled over to the side of the parkway and a woman in a tight dress
in the middle of the road --- a three lane highway --- flagging down cars. A few cars swerved to avoid her. I slow down and kind of took pity on the poor woman.
I pull over and this black woman that looks like a very drunk, not as heavy Star Jones (somewhat attractive), asks me to give her car a jump. The first thing I notcie was the dixie cup of some sort of alcohol. The second thing I notice is that she's still drinking. My Lord...she was waaaaaaaaaaay too drunk to have gotten that far.
Well, she is begging me to give her a jump. I told her I'd drive her home. She offered sex for a jump. SHe said, "I'll fuck you right there in the woods if you get my car started...", she got in my car and we were on our way to Glen Cove. So my drunk passanger for some reason, starts touching me. And I said to myself, "If she gets near my cock, it's coming out" The instant she made the slightest contact with my legs/pants, I was about to undo my jeans. I was a little surprised that she was undoing my button fly jeans without the slightest prompting.
Well, we are driving down Northern Blvd and she is hobbing the knob like a fucking champion. I sent bunyon a blackberry messenger IM in the midst of my blowjob. Well, she started and stopped many times. I asked my standard, "How small is my cock?" question and I got "It ain't small at all. Shiiiitt, I'll ride that shit all day." I asked if she thought it was big and she said, "No, it's a nice, average sized dick." Well, that made me feel good.
So, we get to her place in Glen Cove and she invited me up. And we are parked in some woody area on her property. (Strange area, Glen Cove.) I declined and asked her to finish me off outside. Well, she needs cigarettes. I couldn't get away without getting her cigarettes. She is causing drama. Loses her keys. Etc. Well, I went to some gas station which is kind of close to where she lives. Got the pack of fags and dropped her back off. She got ready to leaveand I asked her to finish me off. Well, that caused a lot of drama. SHe brought up the white/black thing. Me beign a rascist. I told her that "my wife, Shenika, is black..." Well, she told me I was a nice enough guy and started sucking my cock again. She told me that she didn't love me, so she wasn't giving me the "special blowjob" or something like that. I told her, "Pretend you love me..." and that pissed her the fuck off. She spit on my dick. I told her, "Do that again! Oh yeah" She got freaked out, called me a freak. And demanded I go upstairs to fuck her.
Well, I had just about enough of her as I could handle. I did two things for her when you think about it:
1. I quite possibly saved her life. She was in the middle of the Clearview Expressway in the middle of the night. Who knows if we are hearing about some drunken black woman struck down by a motorist later on today??
2. If the cops got there before I did, she could have easily been thrown in jail.
How? She wasn't driving! Well, the cops can arrest you on DWI even if you are pulled over. It seems almost ridiculous to me, but if they suspect you drove to where you are at while intoxicated, they can arrest you. [ie. you pull over to the side of the road to sleep it off because you realize you drank a little too much].
So, I just cut my loses, raging hard on and all. And I left to do my laundry. I got a blowjob from this young hooker I met over in Woodside. She sucks a great dick too bareback. And then I did my laundry.
