Dinner, Drinks with friends ( and the bill)

#1
Opinions sought …
Out to dinner with couples or a group of friends or work colleagues- The bill is not expensed.

Found myself in the latter this evening- Being a light drinker, I had one drink, as did my so. One of the couples, between the two of them, had 8 or 9. Check comes, alcohol tab is appx 125 ( just for them)

The last thing I consider myself is cheap, but I was quite offended when they did not offer to pick up their fair share of the tab -They just contributed their 1/3
( three couples) towards the bill.

Would certainly not go out with them again ( lesson learned), but wondering if one should have said something—

The extra 40 I had to pay is meaningless in the grand scheme of things…. ( let’s look at some of the amp places and prices paid.. ) but I thought their lack of consideration was extremely selfish…

( If I’m ordering the most expensive item on the menu, I’ll always offer to throw in a few extra $ towards the tab)

Thoights?
 
#4
I've been thereto with my ex's family. They'd tend to eat a lot more than I and more expensive dishes. And the bill always seemed to get split evenly, not fairly. Indirectly, that's one of the reasons I sent her walking.
 
#5
If its a couple I always divide the bill evenly with the following caveat: (although it's never happened to me) if someone does something very much out of line, e.g., I order a beer and they order a $100 bottle of wine or a couple of 18 year old scotches, I would make sure I looked at the bill and say "lets split the food evenly but each pay for the alcohol". I wouldn't hassle about the extra tax and tip and just split that evenly.

If its a group of friends or work colleagues I will say up front, with the server there listening, "not everyone drinks but I do — so let's do cash on the alcohol". I worked as a waiter in college, albeit long time ago, didn't happen often but that's how it was done then.

If they object and/or think me cheap I don't care about someone I'm not going out with again.

Burn me once shame on them, burn me twice shame on me.
 
#6
I don't drink, so this happens to me all the time. I never say anything. But I always put that into the equation for the evening. Do I like these people enough to ignore the imbalance? Did I have such a good time with them that the extra money was worth it? There are times when the answer is yes.

Taking a deeper drive, I find that the people whose company I did not enjoy had nothing to do with chipping in for the bar bill. That was an added annoyance. The point was driven home one night when I went out to dinner with some friends and some new people. Everyone knew I did not drink, so one of the knew guys suggested having a separate bar bill. I thought that was very nice of him. Yet as the evening went on he turned out to be the biggest asshole I ever met.
 
#7
My SO's brother-in-law always orders a drink after the meal and dessert are done and we are ready to leave. I dont mind but he usually takes about 3 sips and leaves. You really needed 3 sips? Another time we went out with her siblings. Her brother and wife order a meal for two so they could share. When the order came out it was very small and was really for one person. so her brother ordered a regular meal for himself. So the same brother in law sees this and orders another meal.. even though his first meal was a good size. I'm like WTF? I cant believe people can be so rude and all.
 
#8
Those people aren’t you friends but con men. No one I know would even dare try that shit with me or in front of me. I always don’t do couple dates or dates of that nature. When it comes to company when going out, I mostly keep it to men and everyone is a brother who doesn’t take advantage of one another. Sometimes some takes the whole bill, sometimes it’s split even, sometimes it’s every other drink… no one is a bitch, rat scumbag. It is also up to you to not slow someone to pull moves like this and cut them dead if they do. What else in life does the person do in which that same mentality trickles into other areas of their dealing with people?

watch films where Alpha male figures handle such characters if you need a refresher of how to act.

When it comes to dating women, which since divorce i’ve done twice in two years. I get them with a $4 dollar coffee to if they aren’t bat shit crazy. 50% chance I get laid just off coffee alone. If they are good in bed and worth seeing again the Tom Leykis rule comes into effect of no more than $40 for the date. Not because I’m cheap, I have money it’s because you lay down ground rule of expectations for someone who is on the outskirts of your life at that point. Men should always remember no mating no dating. Too many simp men of all ages ruining it for everyone with whores.
I don’t do BF/GF nonsense and can’t see myself getting married again.
I’m a sex addict who loves variety. That includes color, class, personality, vibe and their body. On this site I may be known for SW, half of that is the thrill but in life I have a steady circle of women I fuck as friends with no normal everyday nagging and it’s great.
 
#11
With respect to posts 8&9
I would not call them con men/women
I went off on a rant as it triggered a lot points on this realm of existence in me but the meat is:

“What else in life does the person do in which that same mentality trickles into other areas of their dealing with people?”

they act like this in several avenues in their life and are low level con men who use others to get by. Dead them and raise your level of awareness as genius said to never let this shit happen again.
 
#12
With respect to posts 8&9
I would not call them con men/women nor friends- Acquaintances perhaps.

Selfish, self centered and shallow- Absolutely a YES
I can't stand people like that. I had one friend who was notoriously cheap and would look to scam like that all the time when we all went out. What can you do? Stop hanging with them like you said, last thing you want to do is start itemizing the bill in front of them. That makes you look like the jerk off - when it was them to begin with.

If you feel the need to go out with them again, or just in general on your next time out. Arrive a little earlier, start your own tab, and if the group wants to put drinks on your tab, tell them you ordered an expensive few drinks for some friends you ran into before they arrived and you don't want to mix it up and have them pay for those drinks. Most I have done that too are quick to get their own tab.
 
#14
One thing I hate too is really cheap people who want to itemize the bill but then conveniently leave out their share of the tax and tip. It's like "my meal was only $19.99" and then they throw a $20 bill on the pile.
Yep… I would certainly ask on that situation what about tax and tip…

Of course there are the select few ( dear friends) who I would gladly pay for dinner/drinks …

Then there are those who we no longer socialize with who are concerned about appearances, making sure they can let the neighborhood know on social media that they went to these places, order $20.00 martinis and so forth.. Again, shallow self centered people
 
#15
One thing I hate too is really cheap people who want to itemize the bill but then conveniently leave out their share of the tax and tip. It's like "my meal was only $19.99" and then they throw a $20 bill on the pile.
I never have a problem with that. It's simple: you say so all others can hear "hey Joe, you need another 6 bucks for tax and tip" — and then look him in the eyes and stand there staring at the SOB until he puts it down.
 
#17
A couple years ago we would do a veterans getaway , about 6-8 dudes and we would hit up all the local jaunts , one of us decided to start drinking Johnnny Walker when we were all doing pitchers on tap . We were not afraid to express our opinion on the subject and I think it still holds true for me these days . I would not be left holding the bag next time .
 
#19
Opinions sought …
Out to dinner with couples or a group of friends or work colleagues- The bill is not expensed.

Found myself in the latter this evening- Being a light drinker, I had one drink, as did my so. One of the couples, between the two of them, had 8 or 9. Check comes, alcohol tab is appx 125 ( just for them)

The last thing I consider myself is cheap, but I was quite offended when they did not offer to pick up their fair share of the tab -They just contributed their 1/3
( three couples) towards the bill.

Would certainly not go out with them again ( lesson learned), but wondering if one should have said something—

The extra 40 I had to pay is meaningless in the grand scheme of things…. ( let’s look at some of the amp places and prices paid.. ) but I thought their lack of consideration was extremely selfish…

( If I’m ordering the most expensive item on the menu, I’ll always offer to throw in a few extra $ towards the tab)

Thoights?
I would've said something or just given what i ordered and a decent tip and have the other couple get the hint.
 
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