And with all due respect, Thorn, you've never been a "corporate" guy (in the sense that I am) so you don't understand the dynamics of the environment.
No, but in my capacity as a consultant supplying services to corporate guys on matters of corporate security items like this have come up and this is exactly the info they paid me to give to them which I provide to you now for free. I put it out there. Its worth what its worth to you.
That doesn't mean that I'd have given her 10 grand to shut her up. I gave her what I was willing to spend on a night of sex, but didn't get the sex. To me, the math was easy. Maybe your equation is different. I don't know.
Its not the math of money. It is the math of human dynamics and of the criminal mindset. You paid an extortionist. That is the last thing you do if you want one to go away. Its like feeding a puppy. You now have a "friend" for life. If you want to get ride of it you are going to have to kick it [or have someone else kick it].
Nothing in life is definate, but the odds of this woman coming back into your life somewhere down the road incresed dramatically when you parted with cash to keep her quiet. She knows where to find you and the next time she needs cash again paying you a call won't be far from her mind.
I think your advice is ridiculous and dangerous for MOST people to follow. You know how to handle yourself. Most white collar guys don't. That doesn't mean you are wrong, but 8 out of 10 corporate guys would have fucked it up if she didn't go away in 10 seconds.
I'm in a hotel where I'm known. Where they know that I'm married. Where if this blows up I need to start staying somewhere else, which I can't explain why I'm leaving a place that treats me like gold for 2 years. To try and save $800 so I can try to preserve my "manhood" or some other macho bullshit is just plain stupid.
No. As I explained it you aren't in a hotel room at all but out in the street some distance from the hotel.
I've been successful in business because I'm a good negotiator. I negotiated my way out of the situation, and I think I won. You think I lost because I lost $800. I regret WAY more $300 fucks that were a waste of money than that $800 that I "threw away" on an extortionist.
Think of it this way: If I do it your way, and I win, I save $800. If I do it your way, and it gets out of hand, I could lose everything. Easy choice, IMHO.
No, the $800 isn't the issue at all. I think you lost because you left a door open for an extorntionist to come and go as she pleases into your life.
In my incarnations as a detective sup. I negotiated a few situations myself. Some of them life and death. As the first chair for my local I negotiated contracts for hundreds of men with powerful elected officals and their lawyers. As a consultant I negotiated the prices for my services and instructed some very large companies how to handle issues of extortion, corporate espionage and internal corruption.
I would never say you weren't a good negotiator. I don't know you. I think I am a fairly good one myself though. My track record backs me up on that.
I truly wish you well with this and I hope that she never comes back to you for money again. If she does I hope you find a way [legal, of course] to make sure its the last time she does it.