Degrees of separation...

T

TheRealStory

#21
#21
marcinny said:
Ahem. (Fake cough. Fingers knocking on the table by the keyboard.)

....................

Ah, forget it.
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I firmly believe that btw. If I didn't, then I'd have to consider myself a degenerate that doesn't deserve to have the life I do and that I'm a danger to my kids because of the life I lead.

There are good people that do "bad" things. There are bad people that do "bad" things.

After seeing more than a couple hundred girls in my lifetime, I think I know enough to tell the difference. Some people are evil. This girl was not. She was sad, scared, desperate for money and used to getting her way.
 
M

marcinny

#22
#22
TheRealStory said:
I know that most people aren't going to understand that because they get so caught up that $800 is a lot of money that they can't see things objectively.
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TRS,

You can't possibly out her now and here without risking yourself too, as you described already your encounter.

There's no point to cry over the $800. If we start counting the money we have wasted on this kind of things and in many others...

There are two things (questions) though that I have to point out:
First, having you name and your number and your place of work and seeing that you would bow to pressure ($800) do you think she had enough material to come back and blackmail you again?
Second, she threatened to ruin your life, how come you still don't harbor bad feelings about her?

I think you already described the second, but maybe I did not understand it from what you said.
 
J

justlooking

#23
#23
If I can answer for RealStory, because she might not even remember that she did it. She was just some drunk acting like a drunk.

As TheRealStory said, if some pitiful person you don't think is evil does something bad to you, you don't hold it against them. You feel sorry for them.
 
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A

Axe

#24
#24
Best example of the old adage that custs arent paying providers for sex but are instead paying for them to GO AWAY when its all over.
 
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N

NYC55

#25
#25
TheRealStory said:
I firmly believe that btw. If I didn't, then I'd have to consider myself a degenerate that doesn't deserve to have the life I do and that I'm a danger to my kids because of the life I lead.

There are good people that do "bad" things. There are bad people that do "bad" things.

After seeing more than a couple hundred girls in my lifetime, I think I know enough to tell the difference. Some people are evil. This girl was not. She was sad, scared, desperate for money and used to getting her way.
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I'm 3/4 joking when I say to out her. I don't really mean it. I don't disagree that you had no option in paying her off. It's just that based on your story, drunk or not drunk this girl is scum. that's just my opinion. I just feel that you are excusing what she did.
 
H

HawkEye65

#26
#26
TheRealStory said:
I firmly believe that btw. If I didn't, then I'd have to consider myself a degenerate that doesn't deserve to have the life I do and that I'm a danger to my kids because of the life I lead.

There are good people that do "bad" things. There are bad people that do "bad" things.

After seeing more than a couple hundred girls in my lifetime, I think I know enough to tell the difference. Some people are evil. This girl was not. She was sad, scared, desperate for money and used to getting her way.
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Incredible story. I would be seeing things in the shadows for months or years after that. Beyond the initial anger at being taken, I admire your lack of vindictiveness. However as others have stated it could come back to bite you in the ass. I agree with what you did, but if she ever uses your info again that is another story. Good guys get taken advantage of sometimes, but they are okay with it because they are good guys, and things work out in the end.
 
T

TheRealStory

#27
#27
NYC55 said:
I'm 3/4 joking when I say to out her. I don't really mean it. I don't disagree that you had no option in paying her off. It's just that based on your story, drunk or not drunk this girl is scum. that's just my opinion. I just feel that you are excusing what she did.
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I see your point, and there is no excuse for her behavior. But I guess I'm being "easy" on her because it ended there and never resurfaced. At the time, I was scared, pissed off, livid, ready to kill. Time and distance mellows.
 
T

TheRealStory

#28
#28
One point that I was trying to make and then I got lost telling the story is this:

What are the odds that someone that I meet in the underworld, on the opposite side of the country from where I live and work, is connected to someone that I know, and we figure it out within minutes of meeting?

The world is a lot smaller than we think it is sometimes, and I suppose it was bound to happen, but I find it ironic that I have met untold numbers of women in NYC that wouldn't be connected to me through 3 or 4 degrees of separation, and I meet one on the left coast that is 2 degrees away, and also happens to be crazy.

Need to remember, that regardless of the girls we deal with, that they know someone that knows someone that knows us, no matter how far removed they seem to be from our normal spheres of influence.

In that sense (given that nothing terrible came from this) I find this story more "interesting" than anything else.
 
T

TheRealStory

#29
#29
marcinny said:
TRS,

You can't possibly out her now and here without risking yourself too, as you described already your encounter.

There's no point to cry over the $800. If we start counting the money we have wasted on this kind of things and in many others...

There are two things (questions) though that I have to point out:
First, having you name and your number and your place of work and seeing that you would bow to pressure ($800) do you think she had enough material to come back and blackmail you again?
Second, she threatened to ruin your life, how come you still don't harbor bad feelings about her?

I think you already described the second, but maybe I did not understand it from what you said.
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I think she "could" have figured it out, had she been in the state of mind to do so, but the only way she could have done it would have been to tell her "friend" that worked for me how she met me, which would have outted herself as a "whore" to him. So it was unlikely that she would have.

To your second question, time and distance.

And to be clear, to guys that I "know" that fish in the same pond, I did "out" her to them privately so they steered clear of her. As it turns out, one of the guys had a very bad experience with her also (not blackmail, just weird), but didn't find it remarkable enough to mention. Would have saved me a lot of bullshit.
 
A

Axe

#30
#30
TheRealStory said:
What are the odds that someone that I meet in the underworld, on the opposite side of the country from where I live and work, is connected to someone that I know, and we figure it out within minutes of meeting?
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Apparently, the odds are pretty good.

I think when you consider what 'circles' you move in for work and look at how they intersect with providers in big cities on either coast, it turns out to be just like you said: it's a small world.
 
M

marcinny

#31
#31
TheRealStory said:
I think she "could" have figured it out, had she been in the state of mind to do so, but the only way she could have done it would have been to tell her "friend" that worked for me how she met me, which would have outted herself as a "whore" to him. So it was unlikely that she would have.

To your second question, time and distance.

And to be clear, to guys that I "know" that fish in the same pond, I did "out" her to them privately so they steered clear of her. As it turns out, one of the guys had a very bad experience with her also (not blackmail, just weird), but didn't find it remarkable enough to mention. Would have saved me a lot of bullshit.
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Thank you.
 
J

justme

homo economicus
#32
#32
Axe said:
Apparently, the odds are pretty good.

I think when you consider what 'circles' you move in for work and look at how they intersect with providers in big cities on either coast, it turns out to be just like you said: it's a small world.
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1. Just because an unlikely event happens, it doesn't mean that it's any more likely.

2. The odds of an unlikely event happens is small. The odds that every unlikely event doesn't occur is also small.
 
T

TheRealStory

#33
#33
Good points. But I was trying to say (maybe I did a bad job of it) is that these events are not as unlikely as we would like (or expect) them to be, so we must be cognizant of that.
 
J

justme

homo economicus
#34
#34
Oh, I agree. I mean, if you are super careful and you can say that there is only a 1 in 1000 chance of being caught any given time that means that there's only a fifty-fifty chance of not being caught in any of 700 times.
 
A

Axe

#35
#35
justme said:
1. Just because an unlikely event happens, it doesn't mean that it's any more likely.

2. The odds of an unlikely event happens is small. The odds that every unlikely event doesn't occur is also small.
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Sure, you're right. TRS beat me to it by saying the assumption that these events are very unlikely is probably a stretch.

If word gets around that a certain restaurant in a certain big city is serving excellent (pricey?) French food but relies only on word-of-mouth to get its customers, what are the odds that some French food lovers who know each other will become its customers? Maybe not a perfect analogy, but close enough?
 
F

franca

<color=pink>Silver</color>
#38
#38
justlooking said:
NEVER OUT ANYONE EVER.

It's like the cardinal rule.
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Yes, that applies to TRS's situation. But (and I kinda hate to hijack this thread, but I'm going to make my point anyway), even that rule has minor exceptions. Like when Julie outed a former client of hers who is not only very famous, but famous for being an abusive prick and pulling guns on people. I really didn't have a beef with Julie for outing him years later after he was charged with murder.
 
T

TheRealStory

#40
#40
justme said:
Oh, I agree. I mean, if you are super careful and you can say that there is only a 1 in 1000 chance of being caught any given time that means that there's only a fifty-fifty chance of not being caught in any of 700 times.
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To take this further, the way I see it, is that if we think that the initial premise is 1 in 1000, it is probably 1 in 500.

So on top of your point, I think that the monger "misprices" or "misassesses" the baseline risk.
 
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