Am I wrong to have regret?

#22
Have to agree with lightweight here, had you made a different choice there's a very high chance you'd be here today asking whether or not that was the right one. Like others have said there's no way you could know where all of this would lead.

Fortunately my parents are still young and healthy, but I watched my grandfather whither away at the end in much the same way as your mom. It's really shitty, and I feel for you. I hope you and your family can eventually find some kind of peace in whatever may come.
 
#23
You did the right thing. It is hard to make a decision in the moment. Went through this with mom, went from house to condo to independent/assistance living, to dementia care within 10 years. Multiple cancers, strokes, and bad case of shingles during all of this. It was had to live with, she lived near my sister so for the last 2 years I was flying to see her ever other week. The only thing we got out of it all was memories.

Don't second guess yourself
 
#25
That's kinda fucked up that your father would give his trophy wife everything and not his kids.

If I ever got remarried I'd still put my kids first.
She's hardly a trophy wife, LOL. But I guess she is in a sense. She's 12 years older than me and 12 years younger than him. If he didn't leave her everything, she'd have nothing. I suppose there will be 'something' for us. But I'm not counting on it for 2 reasons.
1. She will need the $$$ to survive. She's too old to work, and she ran his business, so she's 'owed' something in retirement.
2. They had a kid together, and that kid has all sorts of issues. I won't get into that, but while we all get along with our half-sib, let's just say she can't take care of herself in any reasonable manner. So part of giving the cash to his wife is because then it can be put in a trust for her.
The rest of us are all successful. As fucked up as it seems, it's not really as fucked up as it might seem.
 

Sophia Belle

Trickle Down Economist
#26
Read the book Being Mortal - Medicine And What Matters In The End by Atul Gawande. It talks a lot about this kind of stuff. The most depressing book I ever read.
I appreciate you recommending this book. While the book was incredibly sad, it was such an amazing viewpoint. I feel like it was very informative and thought provoking. Definitely a must read!
 
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