After the wheels came off.

[Slinky Bender]

A couple four years ago my business partner of 18 years gets diagnosed with lung cancer. He is told 12 months if he does chemo, 6 months if he doesn't. I immediately know which one he will choose. But he lets his family pester him into doing it, and it goes bad really fast. He ends up with 3 months of excruciating pain. The guy who I spoke with almost every day multiple times a day for 18 years... I get to talk to once for 5 minutes, and he is semi-coherent. All he manages to really get out is "we had a good run kid". When Sloan Kettering tells the family they are going to send him home with pain meds because there isn't anything more that can be done, they shop him around till they get Maimonides in Brooklyn to prolong his agony.

to be continued........

 

[IgetAround]

Hang in there my friend, this is never easy. I just lost a friend last week. He was giving a year to live 6 years ago, but he went to Canada for some "experimental Stem Cell" treatments. He came back home and resumed his treatments at Sloan. Yes! he made it another 6 years, but they were hard years (on him and his family). I'm a cancer survivor also (but I was "Lucky" enough to have a treatable condition) who spent many days getting treatment at Sloan. Though I can honestly say that the (treatment) experience wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, seeing those other patients fighting for their lives left a deep impression on me. After that whole experience I had a complete new look on life, one for the better. While this may seem like the bleakest of times, you might also learn a life changing lesson. Good Luck and God Bless!!!!

 

[sexpert]

Me?

just kill me, see ya next life.

 

[kingotis]

Where and when does it stop being about the man who is dying and start being about the people who want to keep him alive after the point at which his life has ceased to offer him anything? They're not keeping him alive because they love him and want him to live. He's not living. They're keeping him alive because it makes them feel better to prolong his "life."

There is a documentary about the people who jumped from the World Trade Center when it became clear that their choices were to jump and be killed in seconds or to live their few remaining moments in fear and agony. The day after the tragedy there were photos of the jumpers, photos that were soon erased from the media and our consciousness. Why? Because their victim-hood was somehow less noble?

 

[sexpert]

I kid you not, I have a do not resuscitate in my will, all my kids know it, my wife knows it and my siblings know it. I like mentioning it once a year to keep it fresh in their minds just in case I get into a car accident with a chick fucking me. I don't want to be nagged to death in the hospital, LOL

 

[Slinky Bender]

Unfortunately most DNRs get ignored and the family gets whatever they want.

 

[pudgy.in.the.middle]

Unfortunately most DNRs get ignored and the family gets whatever they want.

I have a HC proxy with specific instructions to DNR.

 

[Slinky Bender]

I have a HC proxy with specific instructions to DNR.

If you have a friend who is a doctor who you can trust to give you a straight answer, ask them what happens in your case if the family makes a full court press to over ride your wishes.

 

[pudgy.in.the.middle]

There is a process to circumvent the DNR. However, unless the family has a sitting board member of the hosp in their pocket or the dream team on retainer, it is highly unlikely that the DNR will be ignored.

 

[Slinky Bender]

continued........

I had buried my Dad about a year before. Over the next year or so i was supposed to go to about 50 funerals, including Miki the Milf and Hyabby. I made it to 12. The pace at which everyone around me was dying was strangling me. My brain started to shut down. I couldn't eat, sleep or even get through a newspaper article. I lost 30 pounds. I stopped making any income and started to go through my savings to pay my bills.

 

[sexpert]

continued........

I had buried my Dad about a year before. Over the next year or so i was supposed to go to about 50 funerals, including Miki the Milf and Hyabby. I made it to 12. The pace at which everyone around me was dying was strangling me. My brain started to shut down. I couldn't eat, sleep or even get through a newspaper article. I lost 30 pounds. I stopped making any income and started to go through my savings to pay my bills.

Chinese proverb that got me through many many many funerals, including my Dad. "hey, everyone has to try it once!"

 

[Gavvy Cravath]

I am thinking this is 2008-09 when this all began? Maybe 2007?

 

[pudgy.in.the.middle]

I've had the good fortune of working with families of pediatric cancer patients. They taught me courage and how to get back up after getting knocked down over and over. After a while, I've accepted that funerals are part of our lives and I use that time to reflect on how the departed lived rather than how they passed.

 

[sexpert]

I've had the good fortune of working with families of pediatric cancer patients. They taught me courage and how to get back up after getting knocked down over and over. After a while, I've accepted that funerals are part of our lives and I use that time to reflect on how the departed lived rather than how they passed.

Hey, that's what I said, more or less,.. LOL

There was a movie that changed my view on death immensely, it's called OKURIBITO. Japanese film with English subs. It wasn't a culture thing, but the movie goes way beyond just culture, it opens up human nature and a better understanding and acceptance of death. People think I'm callous when it comes to death but it's because they don't understand or can't accept that death is part of life, saying it is easy, acting on it is very difficult.

 

[pudgy.in.the.middle]

Hey, that's what I said, more or less,.. LOL

There was a movie that changed my view on death immensely, it's called OKURIBITO. Japanese film with English subs. It wasn't a culture thing, but the movie goes way beyond just culture, it opens up human nature and a better understanding and acceptance of death. People think I'm callous when it comes to death but it's because they don't understand or can't accept that death is part of life, saying it is easy, acting on it is very difficult.

True, but I wanted to give it a more personal spin othewise it may end up in a fortune cookie. Thanks for the recommendation, I want to check it out.

 

[out of control]

It's true that the Japanese culture is more accepting of death. I think they have a better perspective. They think it's karma and ever one must accept their karma. I happen to agree.

 

[pudgy.in.the.middle]

It's true that the Japanese culture is more accepting of death. I think they have a better perspective. They think it's karma and ever one must accept their karma. I happen to agree.

Regardless of the culture double digit funerals in a short span will make anyone take stock and reflect on their own mortality. Having surrounded myself with people who deal with this daily helped me tremendously.

 

[Traderdave]

It just sucks. One of my friends had ALS. Thank God she paseed away after 4 years and did not wind up living in a tomb within your own body. Unable to commmunicate, with only your mind functioning.