Autofellatio

#3
There's a story that this one comedian told about Rodney Dangerfield. He said that he was hanging out with Rodney and Ron Jeremy in Rodney's hotel suite in Vegas several years back. The comedian invotes Rodney out to dinner. Rodney declines, saying "Good. You're going out to dinner, and I'm going to hang out with a guy who can suck his own cock."

And to answer your question, no, I have not.
 
#9
Just curious. What was the problem: too short or not limber enough?
Hard to reach your cock when a belly is in the way!! I’ve always been a bit heavy so there’s a lack of flexibility. I’d say the last time I tried, years ago, I was an inch shy of my tongue, so pretty confident I can get there if I got in shape. Any shape other than round.
 
#12
In my misspent youth, I was able to a few times. Here's the thing. It felt like absolutely nothing. I just said to myself, wow, I have my dick in my mouth but that was it. From an evolutionary standpoint, we can see why this doesn't work. If it did, we'd spend all our reproductive years curled up into self-pleasuring balls with our butts at 12 o'clock. Apart from not reproducing, we would become vulnerable to other predators.
 
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